Crazy mom but dad misses her?

Question

So growing up me and my mom never got along and to this day it's like oil and vinegar we'll never mix. Don't get me wrong I love my mom she's just crazy. I'm 25 now and in the military while I was deployed to iraq my father lost his job at the post office which he worked there for 15 yrs this was hard on my parents financially and just thinking about the future he wanted to retire from there not get fired. So I started helping financially but only so much I could do after awhile my mom couldn't take it anymore so moved to florida with my grandparents. Now that I'm back my dad and brother live with me. I pay pretty much all the bills and I can't help but feel even more hateful to my mother for abandoning her family. She just finished nursing school which is great but got a full time job out there and seems like she has no plans to come back. Everytime I ask her when she is coming back she ignores the question. My dad doesn't know what to do he's sad alot thinking it's his fault. I feel it's her fault in marriage it's good and bad and her being here they could help each other. Now the question is what do I tell my dad to do he is ready to go to florida and make her say if she wants a divorce or not. And I'm ready to pull my hair out cause I can't kick my dad and brother on the street but I'm 25 I want my own place. What do you think I should do?

Answer 1

let your dad go to Florida and work out his marriage and sign your brother up in the military

then live your own life

Answer 2

I need to handle this one in steps:

1.) Your father and mother are both as grown as you are.  Have either of them asked you for advice?  No? Then stay out of their business.  Yes? Your advice to them should be "You're grown. Act like it".

2.) Your father is a grown man.  Why are you supporting him? He needs to get and job and support himself.  If your brother is grown, he should do the same- if not then either your father or mother should be supporting him.  At the very least, your father should live on his own and you could either have your brother live with you or help him to support your brother.  But your father is grown.  He needs to act like it.

3.) You crazy mother has a good job.  If your father is unable to support your brother (and he is a minor), then your father needs to force her to take custody of him.

4.) As far as you and your mother go- are you still angry with your mother for leaving and want answers? Let her know what you are about to do, and cease communications with her until she decides she wants to give you the answers you deserve.  

Ok I think that covers it.

Answer 3

How old is your brother? If he is of age, then of course he and your dad could stay together and pay bills together. If he is not of age, then when your dad gets the divorce he should be seeking child support.. The scenario isn't placing me yet because age of your brother and your dad's financial ability hasn't flown thru. If your dad is financially responsible, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to not have guilt feelings for moving out. I understand that he lost his job, but he needs to get himself and your brother an apartment. He can get on food stamps for the two of them if his finances are tight, and there is other programs out there. You need to love, yet love from your own place. Your dad and your brother is not your responsiblility. You are 25, you are an adult, you are NOT a parent....Good Luck