Critique My New Poem: Twinkling, Twinkling Little Stars?

Question

Twinkling, twinkling little stars

Tell me, tell me what you are?

Hiding, hiding in the vast space

Sending rays to the dark place

Dazzling beautiful, far and lonely

Seeking friends on planet earth

Pretty, pretty, pretty stars

Candles, candles in a festive light

Diamonds, diamonds precious ones

Bring joy to our hearts

Keep us company every night

Answer 1

The rhyme scheme is a little inconsistant.  Kinda like...

A-B-C-C-D-E-A-F-G-H-I

The only two lines that rhyme (space / place) are really noticeable.  You could use that to your advantage by making them more significant, thus drawing attention to them intentionally.  (Seems a little bit random right now)

I must say, it is a pleasant poem, though.  There are a bit too many...  sad ones around, and I personally prefer uplifting ones.  :)

It is still a new poem, so don't be afraid to perfect it some more!  What might be 'A' material...  Can be A++.  ;)

Answer 2

i like it, though the rhyme scheme changes toward the end

Answer 3

please comment on my poem

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Answer 4

That had a cute little message. I suggest more metaphors and similies. Maybe include what stars MIGHT be.

Read my poems?

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