Critique My Poem Kiss Me Before You Leave Me!?

Question

Kiss me Before you leave me

Before the heat of love

Chills and cool

Keep me warm

Between your arms

Before we drift apart

Says a word or two

Whisper in my ears

Soft and gently

Tomorrow

will be too late

Answer 1

if this is free verse your might want to try something like "And the chills of loneliness" after the second line.  just an idea.  also instead of "says" i would just get rid of the second "s"  hope this helps

Answer 2

wow it beautifull;;

if people would leave their relationships like that

then there would be peace:)

absoluetly lovee itt babess:)

Answer 3

chills and cool

sure to come

please hold me

keep me warm

I'm good uh huh uh huh... I'm good!

Please give me co-credit....

that's my kind of poetry.... I'm such a ball of mush.

... and way too full of myself,,, lol

Answer 4

What if you began:

Kiss me before you leave me

Lest our passion's fire

To embers turn, then ash.

Keep me warm

In your embrace,

The sacred space

That lives between your arms.

Before tides carry us

Apart, like pebbles tossed

With disdain on a distant shore,

Whisper in my ears

The language of your heart,

Soft and slow and gentle

So the sun stands still

In rapt amazement.

Tomorrow

Will be too late.

I enjoyed your poem a great deal and this is what I might have said were I fortunate enough to have written it...

Answer 5

How  about

before the heat of love

sending  chills and cool sensations through my body???

or

before the heat of love

shivering chills and cool crisp air

keep my warm

Its a  nice poem, good luck with the perfect  critique.

Answer 6

I can't see anything wrong with "chills and cools"

very nice offering.