Critique My Poem: Life and Death?

Question

Between life and death there is fine line

Death can come in a flash

Life can be gone in a flicker

Live your life like it is forever

Conquer fear of death by desire

Immerse your self in pleasure

Breathe the air and feel better

Life can be short as no one can figure

Do not count the days

Do not feel distress for tomorrow

Do not immerse your self with sorrow

Smile life is funnier than ever

Answer 1

I don't find it depressing. it helped me...sometimes i dwell on negative things when i know that i shouldn't.  i enjoyed your poem very much!

Answer 2

I feel like I've heard this somewhere.  Sorry, but it doesn't sound very original to me.

Answer 3

cool

Answer 4

Since you  admit   that  life is funnier  than  ever,how can your poem be  depressive.it suggests  good impression about

life. and  relations.

Answer 5

very clever dude if you expand your vocab youd easily see your work in some books

Answer 6

I agree about expanding your vocabulary.  This is not a depressing poem, but one of hope and acknowledgement about the fine line between life and death.  Most people don't face that -- I have - you've caught it well.

Keep writing.

T.