Critique My Poem: Raining in My Heart

Question

Raining in my heart

Shedding tears

The tears that does not dry

The serene heart

Getting amused

So much sadness

I feel

I do not know why

The fear

What is coming?

The unknown

The tears in my heart

The nibbling emotions

Answer 1

I like it all except the lines, "the serene heart" followed by "getting amused". I don't see how they are related to the poem at all. Otherwise, it is a very creative effort.

btw, it should read, "The tears that do (instead of does) not dry"

Answer 2

Good poem.

I get from this poem that you are young, maybe a bit heart broken, and a big event is coming in your life soon. Maybe you are moving to a new home? Starting a new school? Missing a friend?

My only critique is to try: the tears that "do" not dry.

Keep it up, and by learning a new word each day, you can really grow into a master poet.

If you have "my yahoo" set up you can choose a "word of the day" module to grow your vocabulary. Some new words will never make it into your poems, but some can inspire a new poem!!

Keep a note book of all your poems. Don't forget to write the date on the page too!

Answer 3

Nice. I like it.

Peace.