Critique My Poem: Viola Cruhed My Heart

Question

Viola crushed my heart

And slipped away

To the far country of New Zealand

To the Hawke’s bay

I gazed the dark skies

I counted the stars

Waiting for a comet

that saw Viola

To fall and flash the sky

I sailed the oceans

I fought the high waves

I met hurricanes

For Viola

Who crushed my heart

And slipped away

Answer 1

very nice. Viola is a biya tch

Answer 2

Aww.

This is really so sweet.This poem tells me your very sweet and sensitive.I love this!

Answer 3

A good read in deed. Not much to critique, maybe change the word "away" in line two. I said maybe. The first four lines I thought were setting up the rhyme scheme, but there isn't really one (which is nice). And punctuate!

Nice poem though, even left as is.

Answer 4

For someone who crushed your heart

you still think of her

because searching hi and low for her

--------------------------

Viola crushed me heart

( then slipped away )

To a far away country New Zealand

( At the Hawke's Bay )

( I gazed in dark skies)  

(Then counted the stars )

Waiting for the comet

( Where I saw Viola )

Going through heartache

(sacrifing sleep risking your safety

because

You sailed the ocean

fought off the high waves

met with many hurricanes)

Answer 5

I liked it, a fun read, about a sad event but with a wry touch of humor.

  

Answer 6

Very descriptiveve and quite an enjoyable peice of poetry you have there! I find nothing wrong, giving you a star so you get more critique on this!  Good job!! Cheers!!

Answer 7

Brill! You can write.

I really enjoyed reading this.

Oh,and I hope you've got over her. Plenty more fish in the sea,you know.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Wonderful!

Answer 9

This poem is good, but a poem appeared yesterday by JELLZ  about Viola, now this one with a different name. I was just wondering if there the same person?