Critique a poem of mine please ?

Question

critique this for me if you be so kind.

I hear the late autumn rain this morning, tapping upon my window,

my fingers trace a stream of this rain from my sheltered side of the pane.

It was just last week, you were here with me, snug and warm, smiling,

our bodies dancing, melding, becoming one, and then I lost myself within you.

Your taste lingers still, your touch ghostly upon my skin, your breathe at my ear,

life has intruded, roaring in without warning, unexpected, now I am left aching.

I find myself thinking of you, wanting hugs, whispers, touches, kisses, just more time,

you had an incredible hold on me, I’m not complaining, in fact I am glad you did.

I treasured your kisses, soft, gentle, passionate, yearning, longing, sensual,

your snuggles so tight, your smile genuine, the sparkle in your hazel eyes.

I cannot keep these thoughts at bay, they refuse to be under lock and key,

I simply despise this feeling of being apart, I wonder if I will implode.

I knew I could never get enough of you, there would not be adequate days or years,

the feeling from being in love with you and the wonderment of you loving me too.

Answer 1

its alright

Answer 2

WOW WOW WOW!

honey what planet are you from?

That was soo beautiful.

The way your described your feelings for what i presume must be your wife is just out of this world. You've have made me incredibly jelous of your wife, having a poet like you around. Here i was thinking my husband was good at expressing his feelings.. man was i wrong.

As for the comment above me, DD are you 10 or just an absolute weirdo.. some people don't really appreciate good poetry from the heart

Thanks so much for sharing,

Greatly appreciated and please keep writing poetry

(even if you don't share it with public)

Amber xo