Critique my New Poem ... When I Am Gone?

Question

Critique My New Poem: "When I Am Gone ..."?

When I am gone away

No body will cry

No one will shed tears

My cold body

Will be for nature to reclaim

The sun will rise next day

As it did for million years

The clouds will fill the skies

The rain will fall and

Moisten my grave

Our lives are small waves

That hit the ocean shores

And soon disappear

So when I go away

No body

Should cry

No body

Should shed tears

Answer 1

This is very nice and I really like it --Grannyji has already told you about the word no body , so will not elaborate on it!  This is good!  Cheers!

Answer 2

The whole poem is about death

or dying because of the title. When I' am gone

and the dealing of at a funeral.

In  memoriam verse

The tears would act as a rainfall

or cloud of tears.

It talks about the different weather

From rain to sun

Clouds fill the sky

and then the rain

Answer 3

This is so moving. I absolutely feel it.

You are not going any where any time soon though.

Lets go streaking instead

wooo hooooo

When I die people should have one big Orgy.

Answer 4

Why have you posted this twice under two different Avatars?  Or has some-one stolen your poem and reposted it?

No body means - you don't have a body...it should be nobody.

I think this would be more dramatic if you actually say

When I am dead, to use a euphemism lessens the impact of your message.

Yes, this is a nice little poem with something to say. I agree we are as nothing in the huge scheme of things.

Answer 5

it's really good...