Critique my poem, please be honest! thanks!?

Question

Wrapped up in a dream,

I’m falling away,

Further from reality,

I’m never coming back.

It’s peaceful here, and quite serene,

I really am enjoying this.

This much needed silence,

Isn’t quiet at all:

It’s the tone of laughter,

The soundtrack of my happiness,

The crickets chirping on a warm summer night,

The voice of a friend long forgotten,

It’s all of this and so much more;

The dream of what used to be.

So I'll close my eyes for one more night,

So I can find myself in your arms,

Then awaken to a harsh reality.

<3

~an average girl

Answer 1

I think it is good,5 out of ten.I can make it better if you like.

Answer 2

awww. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Answer 3

I&#039;m not a poetry expert but I think its pretty cool

Answer 4

Mostly, I think, it is overly general and abstract with little in the way of specific or concrete imagery.

I think The soundtrack of my happiness is an original and effective line.

Answer 5

1. Divide it into stanzas

For example:

    

    &quot; I&#039;m never coming back&quot;. (last line of 1st stanza)

    &quot; It&#039;s peaceful here and quite serene&quot;. (first line of 2nd stanza)

    &quot; The dream of what used to be&quot;.  (last line of 2nd stanza)

     &quot;I&#039;ll close my eyes for one more night&quot;. (first line of 3rd stanza)  (also, leave out the first &quot;So&quot;.

2. leave out a couple of lines that repeat your previous expression and don&#039;t add any relevent meaning.

        For example:

leave out &quot;I really am enjoying this&quot;.

leave out &quot;The dream of what used to be&quot;.  

All in all, it has good expression and stong emotion.