Critique my poem please.?

Question

Should I leave this all behind?

All that we have made,

Or should I stay just for a while?

Repair what has been broken.

If I stay,

Will I gain, or lose it all.

If I go,

Will I recover, or only get worse.

It’s true, I love you,

But still, I see all you have destroyed,

My friends, they hate you,

They don’t see the happiness you bring.

It’s hard to choose one’s destiny,

This simple choice, not simply made,

If I go I will miss you,

But if I stay, will I regret it?

Answer 1

Nice

Answer 2

woah! thats deep...make that a song ;)

i like it cause it makes you really think

Answer 3

that's really good.  i agree, it could deffinetely be a song.  but if you want critique...you could add a rhyme or 2 to emphasize the most important lines.  but then again it works without any rhyme because it's about pain.  so whatever you think.

Answer 4

the title should be:

who's the fool

but i like it

good job laney

Answer 5

The question in all relationships...............Am I better off "with" or "without" this person.  And yes, a simply choice but not simply made.

I suggest different punctuation in your first stanza:

Or should I stay just for a while;

repair what has been broken?

And in your second stanza as well:

If I stay,

will I gain, or lose it all?

If I go,

will I recover, or only get worse?

Simply stated, flows really well, no chunks or hangups to break the flow of what you are saying.  The reader just has a nice read.  Excellent work.

What will you title it?

I can offer "Soul Searching"