Critque my poem for me THANKS!!?

Question

I saw a shooting star shine through the night sky,

It almost made my day.

But to my surprise it burnt away at my eyes,

Now I think I'm blind.

And to this day I resonate these thoughts in my head,

A thousand picture frames,

And these memories hang on hooks inside my brain,

I just wanna sleep in my own bed.

I get headaches, yeah I know everyone does,

But mine are bad enough,

So I can't have dairy and I can't look at the sun,

What a way to live.

I've been singing for so many years and now I've lost my voice,

I follow footsteps I've never seen,

Down one long path which always leads right back to me,

I wish I never heard, anything, well, anyway!

I'm searching for a fallen star to guide the way,

But it's just a shame that my life's turned out this way!

Tell us what you think THANKS!!!

Answer 1

I feel that each verse is really good but they don't seem to connect much. They may share a theme but it seems as if they could all be from a different poem each. Maybe work on continuation and connecting each verse to make the poem easier to follow.

Answer 2

its good, but to me it doesnt  make sence that your searching for a fallen star to guide the way, but a shooting star burnt your eyes away

Answer 3

Your poem needs a guiding thought to it. Just one. your thoughts seem so wayward I can't really see what you are saying.

And to this day I resonate these thoughts in my head,

A thousand picture frames,

And these memories hang on hooks inside my brain,

I just wanna sleep in my own bed.

you are resonating thoughts here, but you just want to sleep in your own bed. This puts two thoughts across: that you are awake, but you are sleeping.  they should go together but instead they spread wide apart.lol