Critque my <span title="poem???????????????????????????">poem?????????????????????...</span>

Question

trapped in an empty dessert within my dreams

slowly dying, no escape

as sand start to slowly fall upon me

i sit there crying to take away the pain that been done

everything starts to turn dark

my hopes and dreams fade away

my life crashes down as sand fills up to my neck

all hope is lost

my future is futile

as the sand slowly starts to cover my mouth

i find myself laying on my bed.

Answer 1

Honestly? It was okay. A nice attempt but it could still use some work. Keep trying though, some day you&#039;ll write a masterpiece : )

Answer 2

weird sad gross

Answer 3

You need to see a therapist

Answer 4

i love the wow words your using

Answer 5

I think it was very good :)

Answer 6

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

i lOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE it

its awesome.

its sad but its awesome the way u wrote it... good job

write me a poem...=)

Answer 8

I hate it when I get trapped inside an empty ice cream bowl too