Question:

Critque...poem....thanks?

by  |  earlier

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I've been creeping in these glances at you from across the room,

I have all the right words to tell you but I'm to scared to move.

So I'll take my time with the right moment as the waves hit the shore,

I have this feeling in my gut that I've been here before.

Your eyes they shine like butterflies as the burn through the sky,

A thousand reasons of regret will still not add up to why,

Your breathe is on my hair and your perfume is on my sheets,

I'm looking for an escape that I can take you with me.

El, please spell the words cause I am having trouble hearing,

The only thing I've missed before you was, I guess everything.

I wrote you a poem in the blood that filled my pen,

Just come home with me I swear I will make you my best friend.

We shock as the world collapsed but I still loved you more,

I'm happy to die with you in my arms...I've never felt this before.

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3 ANSWERS


  1. decent imagery, the meter could use some attention though.


  2. not too bad!

  3. That's really good, but sadly I'm better!Sorry!:-p

    You should hear mine some time cause i am the princess of rhyme!

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