Crowded train. No seat. Long commute. How do you get a space?

Question

Is intentionally passing wind acceptable?

Answer 1

Only if it is rank and will do the trick.

Answer 2

Reach down you pants & scratch your butt. Pull your hand out & sniff your fingers. Then start offering you fingers to the person that has the seat that you want. Guaranteed to get you a seat.

Answer 3

Start shaking dandruff off your head throughout the cabin. If you don't actually suffer from dandruff, keep a small bag of dessicated coconut in your pocket, and when no one is paying too much attention to you gently sprinkle some about your scalp then just shake it off in a very unsociable way on or near others.

Farting grosses people out, but is tolerable, dead skin freaks people out, especially if they are paranoid about hygiene!

Answer 4

It is, but you might also like to try fainting. People will always rush to your aid, and get you a seat. You might also attract the attention of gorgeous/caring man/woman sitting nearby.

Trust me, it's great advice.

Answer 5

farting isb always a good way

Answer 6

f**t and cough.

If that don't work, p**s yourself.

Answer 7

Moan, "I'm gonna throw up!" and people move.  TAA-DA!!

Answer 8

the biggest machine gun you can get

Answer 9

why dont you just start talking to yourself...people will move away...trust me

Answer 10

put a pillow up your skirt and go "ooh-ooh" someone will give you their seat.....

Answer 11

Stick a cushion under your jumper and pretend to be pregnant.

Pass wind as well of course if you feel like it!

Answer 12

I would start scratching. My head first and then gradually move down the body. They'll soon move.

Answer 13

i think that passing wind is very acceptable......especially when u call

out 'who let polly out of prison?' lol

Answer 14

Not great once you get to work or school, but you could try not showering.  

Go in with a big box of tissues, and constantly sneeze and blow your nose till they all move.  

Talk to yourself, both asking quetions and answering them, making no logic along the way.  ex.."Why did you wear the blue jacket today?  I told you not to wear the blue jacket.  Oh really, what color jacket would you were, green, AGAIN?"  meanwhile, your not wearing any jacket.

Start to drool on yourself, and hit yourself a few times.

Ask the person closest to you for a price check on ladies undergarments, then yell out blue light special on housewares.

Good luck

Answer 15

Start muttering in Arabic, then tugging at bits of string in your rucksack.

That should empty the carriage.

Answer 16

rip a big f**t

Answer 17

Go & hide in the toilet, you wont have to pay the fare...