Crushed by my ex's actions!?

Question

it's been three months since our break up. i'm still crushed. we were in a 10 yr relationship. he started seeing someone new, who he now spends all his time with. it hurts like crazy. what's even crazier is that after the break up, he didn't contact me or my kids for a month and a half. during this time he met this new girl. well when we finally did begin talking again, he blamed me for not seein our kids, saying that i told him i needed my space. my heart was broken all over again when i learned of this new relationship especially since he was texting me and telling me things about how he has to deal with the pain of never being able to replace me. anyhow he told me this girl wasn't nothing more than a friend although they slept together. we were trying to be friends but i got too emotional according to him.we ended up messing around before all the emotions came into play, and he said he was going tell her the truth but he never did and now i look like the emotional crazy ex. anyhow within 2 days he got "serious" about her. he had her pic on his phone(which i had to see b/c he kept playing with his phone). he started staying over there everynite. he doesn't call the kids hardly or come to get them. he says i'm keeping them away not her, b/c i told him that he is choosing some woman over his kids and that no woman should ever know that she is top priority over a man's kids. anyhow i'm just down and out. like today he called me and said he couldn't come get the kids because he didn't have any gas, so i went on my lunch to take them to him. i rode back by where he lives and he was not there, meaning he was over the girl's house. i don't know what to do. i want to shut him out completely but can't because of our kids. can anyone please help me. i feel like i'm having a nervous breakdown. he claims to be going to the military, so he can become a better man, but i don't believe it.

Answer 1

its just all head games period!!!set up a time when he can see the kids.find some one who will meet him at the door when they get picked up/dropped off.only talk to him about the kids.have absolutely no contact with him besides that.hes doing what he is to keep you on the back burner,just in case things don't work out with his gf.move on .

Answer 2

Get your court order for your children in order. Child support, custody--all of it. and then make him follow the court order. Don't be feeling sorry for the fool and take him the kids because he doesn't have gas. wah. He's a big boy. He can take care of himself.

Stop letting your emotions get in the way here--do yourself and favor by going to court to get things official. And then do yourself a favor and stick to it! You want to cut him out? Then cut him out! Don't talk to him unless it's about the kids. don't give him anything that the court doesn't order. If he doesn't do what he is supposed to do, take him back to court and get things changed again, in your favor! yes, is sucks, yes it hurts, but you can get to a better place. Start by getting to a lawyer and settling your business affairs with this man once and for all!

Answer 3

first thing first.  

Let go of those emotions for him.  they are not worth it.  I know that it hurts to know that he has moved on, but it was bound to happen some time, you know.  He really is not that great sounding anyway.  my wife left me and tried to blame all on me and what not, but it never stopped me from being here every minute i could for my kids.  It is hard to say, but my blood does not flow in her, it is with my kids, so that is my bond.  

The best way to burn him up, is to move on with life and show him that he is not needed or missed.  My wife cheated, we split and the best way to get her fired up was not to call for her, but for the kids.  when she would try to talk, say sorry i just want to speak to my kids, i miss them!  Good Luck and be strong.

Answer 4

Drop the kids off with him and the new girl friend and go away for a few days, or a week or two.  Or drag him into court and get child support, if he don't pay they will lock him away and he can see his kids on visiting day.  You better stay out of his bed, since he doesn't love you any more.