Crying it out/controlled crying/"controlled grizzling"?

Question

I don't let my daughter "cry it out", but when I put her to bed she grizzles...sometimes for half an hour or so. After that, sometimes she drops off, sometimes she starts crying and I go and settle her.

Is controlled grizzling just the same as controlled crying or do you think it's ok?

Answer 1

What on earth is grizzling??

EDIT: I'm sorry, I had never heard of it before, but I knew it couldn't be a good thing. My son fussed himself to sleep once, for about 30 seconds... he just woke up soon after, which I was actually happy about, because I felt so incredibly guilty for letting him do it and then was able to give him loves. Bed time has never been easy for us, but it has always been an enjoyable time. Sometimes it takes quite a while to put him to bed, but it is well worth it. It is a great bonding time and guilt free. My son looks forward to bedtime and the cuddles and so do I. The fact that you had to ask a question asking if it was okay probably means that it is not. If you felt no convictions, you wouldn't have asked. I hope you give your baby lots of cuddles and love to fall asleep instead of letting her "grizzle" it out. Best wishes.

Answer 2

"Is controlled grizzling just the same as controlled crying or do you think it's ok?"

I don't think it's the same, but I don't think it's good, either. Not at all.

Bedtime should be about cuddles and milk, not "grizzling" and a grudging Mummy only showing up when the real screaming starts.

Answer 3

Yeah.. i know grizzling for sure. ha ha

I think it is definitely ok for your baby to grizzle herself to sleep.

She is teaching herself to put herself to sleep which is fantastic.

It was the same with my daughter and now she just chats herself to sleep.

She would get worse if I would go in too. It's definitely a good thing she grizzles over crying or screaming.  

Answer 4

If you are speaking fo the same thing Emma does, I refer to it as singing herself to sleep....it sounds like she is moaning...

Answer 5

Think of it this way:  You need some time to relax before you can drift off to sleep, right?  You don't just lay down, cover up and *snap* you're off in dreamland.  How would you feel if everytime you turned over or thought something aloud that you need to make sure not to forget in the morning your spouse came up to you, assumed you were still wide awake and asked you to get up to do something?  That would just wind you right back up again and you'd have to go through the whole 'getting comfortable' process all over again.  Babies are the same way.  Some of them go right to sleep.  Some like being rocked to sleep.  Some need to let off a little 'steam' by grizzling/light fussing/rolling around to get comfy.  If it gets worse if you go in to pick her up, then she is probably one who needs to work it out for herself to fall asleep.  As long as your child is not crying for a need that you can provide (food, nappy, comfort, etc) then she is probably alright.  If her cry escalates and you feel she does need you then your instincts are spot on and by all means, give her what she is asking for.

Answer 6

I think any amount of time that a baby spends alone and unhappy is completely unnecessary - even more so when mom is near to dish out some cuddles.

Answer 7

its known as fussing it out - safe of course if the baby is happy all other times (if not she may have an underlying issue u need 2 resolve)

but as soon as baby cries you go in and resettle- no harm done

sometimes the line is blurred when you are busy so do go in if in doubt

I did fussing it out with 1st daughter and she is a perfect 4 year old but I do feel guilty about doing it with this baby maybe because its my last baby - who knows or maybe because this baby takes the dummy and settling isnt a problem (well rarely except afternoons on some days)

follow your gut instinct and take responsibilty for whatever actions you chosse to take. I assure you will find guilt anywhere you look for it particularly if this is your first baby.

Answer 8

Grizzling as in growling? My son makes some odd noises when he's falling asleep sometimes too. He's never really crying and I think it's more of a soother for him. If she's not crying or is in distress then I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 9

If by grizzling you mean "giving out" or grunty little old man noises, my now 5 month old daughter used to do this every night for 20 or 30 minutes before dropping off to sleep.  She never really cried as such and if she did I always knew something was wrong such as a nappy or wind or soother having fallen out and would go to her and fix the problem and let her fall asleep.  Now she just goes down like a lamb while awake and plays with her hands and chatters to herself until she dozes off and it's the same if she wakes in the night.  Controlled crying is a specific technique which should only be undertaken in very specific situations under guidance with differing techniques depending on the age of the child.  It's often used to break sleep dependency patterns such as dummy/pacifier dependency, but we're gonna just let our little one have it as long as she wants it because there's evidence now to suggest that it helps prevent sudden infant death syndrome and anyhow it makes her so happy.  Hope this helps and dont worry, if there was something really wrong with her she would let you know really fast and you would not mistake the tone of HELP in her voice!:)

Answer 10

Not sure what grizzling is? Just kind of being grumpy and whiny?

If it makes you feel bad, then don't do it. If it seems okay to you, and you don't deem it as CIO, then it's probably okay.

My daughter, who is 20 months, is sometimes "grizzly" while she is going to sleep. However, we co-sleep, so I am right there with her while she sighs, and rolls around, and complains. Of course, at 20 months, my daughter can complain and whine without one single tear. An infant just can't do that. So, if there are any tears, I would say it's just another form of CIO.

However, 30 minutes is a long time when you're a baby. And certainly a long time when you're not particularly happy.