Curious to see what you all think of my poem. Tell me?

Question

Ok so mi'm going into 7th grade and i want to know what you think of my poem. I love everything about poetry, and I enjoy writing it, but I'm a bit curious to see what you all think. It doesnt have a title, and it would be great if you could help me get a title too.

Here it is:

For once in my life my independent self needs someone to rely on. Someone to be there when i need it and when i don't. and you've made me feel lost in my own mind. but i do see hope in wishing someone will be there when i return again. part of me enjoys knowing what that feeling felt like, and the other part wishes i had never experienced it so i wouldn't know what i was missing. but dont fret, i will soon be to normal and the world will keep turning and our lives will continue on.

this is my other one:

I quietly lay in the forest awaiting your arrival

Under the tree I lay, patient yet anxious

Quietly I lay depending on you to come for my survival

As I lay there under the big Oak tree I can't help but think about you

and I ponder if you ever think about me

Longer and longer I lay there

Thinking you've forgotten

And I look around to see all the plants and animals glare

More and more I think that you've failed to remember

So I lay there for eternity

That being my surrender.

So the next time I have to survive on you,

I certainly know not to- Tayy

Answer 1

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 2

i like it a lot, its very good

Answer 3

I'm going to the 10th grade and i don't think i can write a poem like that good job

Answer 4

i think the title should be "Experience" because like you said "next time i have to survive on you i certainly know not to" which shows you've experienced it before and no that it's not worth it. I think this is really good for a 7th grader! I remember my poetry as a seventh grader and it was the same vocabulary, when you get to highschool your vocabulary will widen almost exponentially and you'll learn how to express yourself a lot better. I can see you as an award-winner in highschool, and i speak from experience, having won a few poetry awards myself. You know how to express your feelings well, you're good at the "concluding" stanzas, your poetry exudes peace tinged with melancholy-- i think it's lovely, good luck!

Answer 5

your going into 7Th grade? there great just take out filler words to make it flow more. other than that great.

Answer 6

Ur going into only 7th grade???? those are really good in my opinion!