Currently, what is your favourite joke?

Question

Why are pirates called pirates????

because they arrrrrrrrrrrr

Honestly, I should be a comedian or something

Answer 1

What do you call a 50 year old virgin?  A golden cherry!

Answer 2

Why are there now only 49 contestants in the Miss America pagent???

'Cause no one wants to wear a banner that says "Idaho"...

Answer 3

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

Answer 4

Gordon Brown is the biggest joke I know

Answer 5

What is black & Orange and looks good on the back of an illegal immigrant?

      I

      I

      I

     V

A Bengal Tiger

Answer 6

Two cannibals are eating a clown..

one says to the the other,

"Does this taste funny to you?"

Answer 7

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

So the sheep don't run off when they hear the zip getting undone.

Answer 8

when i was born, God said  '' oh !! the biggest idiot ''  and  when you born He said '' Aila  competition ''...

Two fools on the top of the 14th floor.  one fool said ''now i will say 1,2, 3 you jump from here''  and then you say from the ground 1,2,3 i will jump.

Answer 9

It's called the p**p deck 'cos that where the pirates made their victims walk the plank.

Answer 10

Why are space pirates called space pirates then? Arrrrr they in Space?

Answer 11

Teacher asks class to put their hands up and give  a sentence with an example of the word "contagious".

Three hands shoot up.

First child says " There are lots of people in the hospital with contagious diseases "

"Well done" says Miss.

Second child says " Yawning is contagious"

"Very well done " says Miss " And what´s your sentence Little Johnny??'"

" Our next door neighbour is painting the front of his house with a very small brush Miss, my mum says it´s going to take the c*nt ages"

Answer 12

what do giraffes have that no other animal has.....<^><...

baby giraffes...

Answer 13

Its really awful so you're warned.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane?

A pilot you racist!

Answer 14

This is a riddle, not a joke but here it goes. I have such bad luck, if it was raining vaginas I would get hit with a p***s.  

Answer 15

What do you call a Spaniard who has lost his car?

Carlos......

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa

Answer 16

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Little Old Lady

Little Old Lady Who?

Hey!!!  I didn't know you could yodel!  :-)

Answer 17

Whats goes hahahahahaha plop?

someone laughing their @rse off

Answer 18

What goes 'ooooooooo'

a cow with no lips!!!

Answer 19

Bush:  I need to see the man Shakes-a-willy.

Rice:  No need. I'll do it for you.

Bush:  Ahh! You're so good.

Answer 20

sorry girls

why are women like clouds ?

eventually they **** off and you have a nice day.

i did say sorry first

Answer 21

I dunno but have you ever been in the RSPCA offices? I have and you can't swing a cat in there. Badum boom tsh! :-D

Answer 22

In the convent novice says to mother superior"Mother we've got a bad case of syphaliss inthe convent" Mother superior replies "Thank God for that I was sick of the beaujolais". Excuse spelling as I,ve had a few wines .

Answer 23

How many spies do the Russians need,

None all they need is someone with a free travel pass.  

Answer 24

i can only remember one.

i went to a zoo

there was only one dog in it

it was a shitzu

sorry, it was a shitjoke too

Answer 25

You hun,,you are my favorite joke :)

Answer 26

I'm the biggest joke going.

Goodnight.  

Answer 27

Currently? My favourite joke is my first marriage.

Answer 28

Police raided Garry Glitters house and found class "A" drugs in the kitchen.

Class "B" drugs in the Bathroom

and class 5c in the bedroom