Custody of children & moving...?

Question

3 years ago I was given temporary custody of my two children (in TX). Right after I got custody, my current husband deployed to Iraq and I moved from CO to TX because I was pregnant & needed to be around family. When he returned from Iraq we moved back to CO where he is stationed. He's now out of the Army and the kids and I have moved back to TX permanently. My ex, who now gets to see the kids every other weekend is making noises that he'll be taking me back to court soon. His girlfriend (who lives at his parents house with him and neither of them work) told my daughter, "you've lived with your Mom for 3 years, now it's only fair that you come live with us for 3."

My only worry is that a judge will look at all the times we've moved and call me unstable. He's never moved. He's lived with his parents his entire life (except for when we were together), and the parents have money to afford attorney's. I don't.

Do I have anything to worry about?

Answer 1

I don't feel you have anything to worry about, honestly.  It would take a crackpot of a Judge to grant this man custody when neither him nor his girlfriend even work, and cannot even support themselves with their own apartment.  The Judge will say "If you can't support yourselves, how can you support a child?"

The Judge will understand why you would have moved closer to family when your husband was deployed and you were pregnant, it's difficult to be pregnant and alone and I'm sure he/she will understand that.  You've only moved those two times -- once for the support of family, and then once again to go back "home" with your husband, there's nothing wrong with that.  Besides, the Judge typically looks at the situation like if the custodial parent isn't unfit in any way, there's no reason to shake up the children's lives and move them in with another parent, it's unstable.  Stability for the children is the main concern.

Why not try talking calmly and politely to your ex and explain that you don't think it would be very stable for your children to switch which parent they live with back and forth.  Explain that maybe if it's just that he's missing the kids you could increase the visitation a little bit to try to avoid a custody battle in court?  Say "I think the children need to continue to live with me for stability purposes, however I can definitely understand you missing your kids.  What if we made it so that they spend every other weekend with you, plus one night per week you can pick them up for the afternoon/evening and do dinner with them, just bringing them back home at bedtime?  Then you get a little bit of increased time, and they're still stable?"  Hopefully he'll go for it.. but even if he doesn't I wouldn't worry too much about a court battle.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow...tough...I hate divorce...people are so freaking selfish nowadays...poor kids suffer the most.

Answer 3

highly doubt u have anything 2 worry about...granted u've move but make it sound like valid excuses and explain u've got everything under control now...include how irresponsible he is with no job and a grown man still at home with mommy and daddy.....u good...most if not all favor with the mothers....