For the past two maybe three years I've been really depressed. Long story short I started self harming and I seriously regret it now. Well I met this great guy and we started dating a few months later. Since we got together I haven't felt the need to cut, at all. But about two or three months ago he moved really far away. We've been trying to make it work but it's gotten to the point where we'll talk every night for a week, then I won't hear from him for a week or two. During the school year we talked every night and the only time we didn't talk to each other in some way was Friday and Saturday nights. So this summer has been really hard for both of us. The problem isn't not talking to him for weeks at a time, I trust him, he trusts me, neither of us would ever cheat on the other, and I'm usually good at calming myself down and telling myself I'll get to talk to him soon. The problem is I can go about a week without hearing from him before I start to miss him. Any longer than that and I start feeling really lonely and kinda helpless. I've never mentioned this to him because I don't want him to think I need to see him everyday to be happy. I'm usually a really happy person, but when I start to realize that I don't know when I'll get to talk to him again it's almost like I start hyproventalating and I can't calm myself like I normally do. A few times it's gotten so bad that I slipped up and cut again. I can't stand feeling that weak and completely helpless but I know that's not even close to being as bad as it would be if we broke up. I haven't told him about the self harming either and I really don't plan on it. It's not like I depend on him for happiness, but I can't stand missing him so much. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the pain/emotions that come from missing him like that? Should I tell him about the self harm and depression, or would that seem too needy? please help!
I don't have long distance calling and my aunt (yea I live with my aunt) isn't exactly happy about the relationship so he can't call very often. Which pretty much limits us to IM and myspace.
(yes I asked this before but I only got two answers and I want to see if I can get any more advice)
Tags: