D U LIke My Poem? =P?

Question

It's called "A Dream To Race". I want to be a jockey when I get older, so that's where the poem came from =].

Just her and her horse flying down the track, she never even for a second, looks back.

Her dreams are so real, she can almost feel the wind on her face, as she blows past the others and wins the race.

To all that said her dreams would never come true, she'll soon be in the winner's circle laughing at you.

And the beautiful tall black, had a blanket of flowers placed on her back.

She can't wait to get on the track.

Answer 1

Wow thats a great poem! I've never heard one that great in a long time!

Answer 2

Wow!!! That was AMAZING!!!! I loved it!! I also want to be a jockey and have a gray filly that wins the Triple Crown.

Answer 3

great! more,more, keep on tracking. your talent has found you!

Answer 4

that was cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Maybe in another life you were destined to ride Ruffian, the "Queen of the Fillies".  

I really liked your poem but an honest critic would tell you to get rid of the line "she'll soon be in the winner's circle laughing at you."  It makes the reader feel like a loser and you don't want to do that when you're composing poetry.  She can laugh at the naysayers but the reader (being me in this example) isn't one of them.  

And while jockeys might laugh inside when they are victorious over their competitors, horses don't.  Horses run stictly for the love of competition but they still feel the same way toward their competitors whether they win or lose.

I really liked the line that starts as "Her dreams are so real..."  That was perfect.