DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION TO MOVE OUT????

Question

I am so confused and I have so many mixed emotions. I am 28yrs old and live with my parents. I recently had brain surgery last yr. I LOVE my parents & I had NO INTENTION to move out! Our relationship is great & my mom needs my help to get things for her cause she is obese and has steel pins in her leg & is over 60yrs old.

Anyway - WHY I MOVED. The brain surgery left me with an incredibly sensitive sense of smell and yrs ago I painted ceramics in the bsmt in the room next to bedroom and I stupidly sprayed the sealant in the room and the sealant permeated the carpet. I tried everything to get rid of the smell - baking soda, opening windows, running a hepa filter in that room, professionally cleaning the carpet. Finally I got sick of sleeping at night with a hepa filter in my bedroom (Before bed I would have to run it for 30min so that I would not wake up with my nose burning) - so I ripped out the carpet and underlay.

WHICH IS WHY I MOVED - The ripping of the carpet and underlay idea backfired. It created so much particulate matter that everywhere in the house it causes my nose to burn and the air in the house is not healthy and I didn't want to take a chance. This is why I moved.

The reasons I am unsure of my decisions are that my mom said the house is too big for them and they are gonna move (I don't know know if she is trying to get me to come home because I help her alot), Also my mom and dad are very upset because I did this move so quickly (which I really didn't have a choice in the matter health-wise). I am so sad to have left them. They need my help. (I also am the only girl and the "Baby in the family")

I HAVE 3 QUESTIONS:

1) What would you all have done in this situation (re: stayed or left and why?)

2) Do you think my mom is saying they are going to sell this place because she wants to scare me to move home?

3) Do you think I made the right decision & why?

Answer 1

if you are healthy enough to work and pay for you own place? nothing is better  than having your privacy, u r 28 y/o  u need to live your own life , you can help your mom with out living in the same house, she can get the gastricbypass to loose wt,or the lap band,obesity is a pain in the butt,  just think if you have a girl over you have privacy, to scream all you want! that's what I think, if she want to sell the house let her sell it, it's ok,

Answer 2

I think you made the right decision if you are financially able. You are at an age where you should live out on your own and try to gain some independence. I understand that you love your parents and you are very sweet to be thinking of how this effects them, but trust me, they will get over it- they need to for your sake. You are not abandoning them, be there for them as much as you can and visit them as often as possible. Keep them as a big part of your life, but live your own life too. You sound like a very caring person and things are sure to work out for you and your family.

Answer 3

I think you were right to move..it was to do with your health and of course you must look after that..Your parents may want to move because they want to down size their living arrangements..a lot of people as they get older move to smaller homes...the family has all moved on so they don't need a big place anymore..I want to tell you something else..you say you're the youngest in the family and the only girl..well I am the same in my family  but you need to get the rest of your family involved in the care of your mother..or you will be left to do everything and never have a life of your own...it almost happened to me but I said no and then got my brothers involved in taking turns in the care of my mother...that was a 100yrs ago :)

Answer 4

Health wise - yes - you made the right choice.

If a situation cannot be altered, but has a bad effect on your health, you should move away.

Your parents might not like it, but if you have a talk with them, and explain what exactly was the reason behind it - they should understand.

If they want to move, maybe they can find something closer to you, so you all will still be independent, but close enough 'just in case'.