DO ONLY LAZY WOMEN STAY WITH ABUSIVE MEN???

Question

When women are with abusive men. . .and they KNOW their only answer is to get out and develop a life on their own (or, at least,until they meet a good and responsible man to share their life with). . .why do they stay? Is it because they're lazy and don't want to take the time to find an answer on their own. And PLEASE don't say because of the children ! The children are way better off AWAY from abusive relationships. And PLEASE don't say finances. . .there are enough state agencies that can help in the meantime while a woman pursues a job and/or education.

Answer 1

Lazy has absolutely nothing to do with it.  I have 2 friends who were in abusive relationships and their reasons started with insecurity.  Then once they were locked in heart and soul... fear became their reason.  One of my friends got out relatively early, but not until there was a child.  The other stayed for almost 12 years.  She had the harder relationship.  He told her what to wear, cut her hair, made her wear glasses and no makeup.  She had limited interaction with her family and they had to agree to let them be in order to see the grandkids of which they were 2.  He obviously controlled the finances even her paycheck... had it direct deposited.  She was finally able to leave after a full year of careful planning and the help of a friend who had a secure place to live.  She left with a secretly squandered $960 and only because he went on a 2 day trip.  It took almost another year to be fully rid of him.  It is a long hard process that these women face, most of them anyway, and what they need from their friends and family is support and not continuous "suggestions" from people who do not understand what they are going through.  I was one of those who always put in my 2 cents when it was never asked for.  Most women are completely ashamed and cannot figure out how they got in that situation.  Women don't need to wait until they meet a good and responsible man... they need to know that they are worthy without any man... usually this is where we as women/girls get lost, thinking that we aren't complete until we are in a relationship... even a bad one.    

Answer 2

Unfortunately people love familiarity, so if they have had an abusive relationship or family in the past, they are more likely to be with and stay with someone who is abusive out of comfort unless something is there to break the cycle...it sucks i know

Answer 3

Many women stay because they have been given such low self confidence by the situation that they truly believe that the abusive man is the only one who will ever have them. A fear of being alone can drive people to these things, think of how you would feel to be left with no-one.

Answer 4

A woman stays out of fear - fear of his retaliation, fear that she can't get along alone, fear of what others will think.

An abused woman does not and cannot think rationally.  She has been so demeaned that she believes the lies.  

Clearly, you have never been an abused woman or counseled one who has.  It has nothing to do with laziness and often it DOES have to do with finances.  You know very little about the problem.

Answer 5

As a retired police officer who was in charge of all domestic disturbance call, I have to admit that most of the women were employed and worked outside of the home, an amazing number were nurses.  I personally felt that they suffered from misguided love, some thought they could change his behavior, others thought that was just how marriage worked.  I spent a lot of my off hours trying to assist these ladies into shelters, only to be called back to the residence in a few weeks finding they had returned.  Between the court systems and domestics, I finally gave up and retired early.

Answer 6

woman are retarded... that should answer pretty much every question u will ever have through out the (hopefully short) course of your life..  

Answer 7

For it being 31 years ago you sure don't remember why you stayed so long. Women stay because the love him, they remember the way he was before he abused them, they remember the way he is when he isn't flipping out. They remember they joy they both had at their wedding, at the birth of the baby, etc... Women stay because men put on a good face 99% of the time. They stay because they have no self esteem to think another man would want them or that even a job would hire them. They stay because at this point they don't even care if he kills her. They stay because he has torn her down for so long she has no idea how to pick herself up.She remembers all the promises to never hit again, the good times during the apology and days after- and how good of a man he pretends to be.

I THOUGHT YOU WENT THROUGH THIS????!!!!!!