DO you think what I said caused a shock?

Question

We have a manager here at my office that has the same postiion as I do but in a different dept. I really like her personally, but have witnessed this behavior at any given time...

She will just get up and leave during meetings, her shift or what not.. usually it attributed to an allergic reaction, asthma or her back going out on her. It's odd behavior.. and I honestly don't know if she has been spoken to or not. This morning she snapped at me when and told me I don't understand her situation at work and she is thinking of leaving.

Today.. we were in a 3 hour power meeting with our senior management and this lady got up and was in a huff. Our senior manager asked her if she was having an allergic reaction and she said.. "No, I have had enough of all of you" and left the room shutting the door behind her.

The room was uncomfortably quiet. I finally said "you know we all have stressfull work here, but that was really rude and unnacceptable!"

Answer 1

Okay, firstly her behavior is well-known to management. If they wish to deal with it or ignore it, that's their decision.

Secondly, what she did at today's meeting was undoubtedly rude. However, her mood may be attributable to factors about which you know nothing. (She may have some form of chronic pain, for example, or she might have psychological issues, hormonal imbalance, I mean, the list goes on)

Thirdly, your personal criticism of her behavior, especially when she wasn't in the room to defend herself, was a step too far. You must now deal with her knowing what you said about her behind her back. I don't expect she'll be happy.

And this: "you would of already of been in my office having a talk to me about my behavior!" sounds a lot like this: "It's not fair, you let her get away with everything!" A meeting is not the place for these sorts of discussions. They should take place one to one so you can embarrass yourself privately.

You did the right thing in apologizing.

Answer 2

I think that's what you'd call "burning bridges". I'm not from your country; I'm German and just stumbled on this question while browsing through some Yahoo!Answers topics, and even I would consider that as rude. And having my pride, once having slammed a door, I would never look back. I did that twice in my lifetime, with really harsh words (much stronger than those you quoted), and I, well: regretted it for a minute, and then went forward.

I think her behavior was justified if she felt like it, and you were right, too, and just spoke it out. Remember: Someone has to do it. Maybe my point of view from "over the ocean" is helpful to you, as slamming doors and shouting at each other is rare here, but not uncommon, even in business meetings. And I know pretty well that kittens got claws.

So what's you're part in the story? The innocent one? Don't tell me; I won't believe.

Answer 3

You're in management.  They pay you for your opinion.  I see this as no different from any other issue.  I'm sure her actions affect the flow of business.  

A manager that doesn't speak up about issues that affect business isn't much of a manager.  It doesn't matter if it isn't your department.  Every department affects the other and the bottom line of the business..

Answer 4

I think you just articulated what most of your colleagues might have been feeling towards that person. You have just spoken the truth.

Answer 5

You were gutsy to say anything.  Most people would have sat quietly and simply kept their opinions to themselves.  Sometimes what you don't say speaks volumes.  I probably would have just had a shocked look on my face and stayed silent.

Beware: this could turn on you.  If she speaks to others there and they all somehow manage to get on her side of the situation, you're going to be considered the loud-mouthed bad guy who tried to turn everyone against her.

She sounds very manipulative and violatile.  Be careful!

Answer 6

You should have thrown a leg on the table, caressed the underside of your b*****s and asked 'Is it hot in here?  Does anybody else feel like going swimming?' then smiled and looked at the men in the room, slowly.

Answer 7

I think the part about you saying it was rude and unacceptable plus you being fed up with the dramatic exits were both OK, but you should have stopped there.  Someone had to say something.  Telling your manager how to do her job was going a little too overboard.

Answer 8

Good thing that you stood up and voiced your opinion, but depending on upper management (they might just like her, so they put up with it) they might not care too much.

I guess it just depends your work environment.

Answer 9

It probably would have been best if you had kept those comments to yourself, but I'm sure everyone understands.  

This woman sounds like she has issues.  Someone needs to intervene.  People shouldn't have to put up with this stuff at work.

Answer 10

I think you did just fine.  It's hard to say that about upper management above you - but as long as she is on the same level as you, I would think it was OK.  Shock?  I think everyone inside their heads were saying "It's about time one of us said something".  She's not a very professional woman.  I can take a lot of BS from mgmt, but when she says she's had enough of all of you, I think her time will be up soon.

Answer 11

While I'm sure everything you said was true, it was inappropriate for you to speak out about it.  The higher ups are aware of the situation and it is their place to do something about it, not yours.

Answer 12

Strictly speaking, saying those things was impolite...but if you've noticed her behaviour carrying on like that, then chances are most people in the meeting have seen it too. They probably agreed with you.

By the sounds of it she'll quit before she gets fired, so you probably won't have to deal with it much longer.