DOES IT MAKE ME A BAD PERSON?

Question

five years ago my husband died (army) and i was pregnant at the time now I'm scared that my son will hate me if i get married to some one who is not his dad. but I'm going to get married again so i been having lots of dreams of him should i get married wut does it mean i still love him like crazy

Answer 1

You are not a bad person.  You deserve happiness also.  Just don't try to compare every man with your husband.  He was a unique person, and so are other guys.  Just prepare your son before you actually do get married.  Make sure that the man you marry loves both you AND your son.  Make sure that you include him in the wedding plans also.  Never let him feel he is different from any other children you might have.  .  Always make sure that he has the opportunity to go to his father's grave and put flowers on it. You can't just act like he was never part of the child's life.  He is now and always will be.  That is his father..

Answer 2

he would want you to find someone that can give you and your son a better life its best no to tell your son untill he gets older.

Answer 3

Congratulations. I hope it is a fun wedding for everyone especially for your son. Get him involved.

Answer 4

Just make sure the man you are going to marry wants to be a dad as much as he wants to your husband.  If you have a child with this man (especially a boy) your son may feel like outcast unless the bond with this new man is strong. Men do have a problem accepting other men's children and usually prize their own off spring.  But there are a few good guys out there that can handle other men's kids.

Answer 5

i think that you're just dreaming about your late husband simply because you're really worried if you're making the right move.  like with all relationships. you shouldn't commit to something unless you're 100% sure.

i doubt that your son will hate you as long as you give him a loving home.  

there's really no one else who can decide for you except you. i hope that you find the right answer.  God bless!

Answer 6

Just explain it to your son soon. Besides, every child also wants their mother to be happy and no man is an island. You can't just live alone forever. Your son may be there now that he's young but when he gets married in the future, who will be there with you to spend the rest of your life?

So just go for it. Just be sure he's the one and he will accept your son as his own son because if not it will also be a big problem.

hope that helped.

Answer 7

Get married and have a wonderful life! Your deceased husband would want you and his son to be happy!

Answer 8

you deserve to be happy just explain to your son that your not trying to replace his dad and know can take his place, that you love him very mcuh and he is still you # 1 "son". and have you asked hom how he feels about this i think that would be your best bet as well asking him what he thinks.

Answer 9

moving on is a part of being human. It just takes time. You will know when you are ready, I grew up without a father, just keep in mind when you date that there is more to judge then just attraction, what kind of a father would this man be. Those are things you should ask yourself. Don't feel guilty about anything just take your time. Time heals all wounds big and small

Answer 10

not at all, get marry, you are human and need man in your life.

Answer 11

Why would your son hate you?  He doesn't even know his dad and all he will know is this man.  I think you are thinking too hard and it is tramatic to loose a spouse.  You have found someone to move on with, so move on.

Answer 12

No it does not make you a bad person. Lots of people get remarried these days. It is not because you are being unfaithful but because you have lost him. You did not do it straight away.

Answer 13

just make sure the guy you're getting married to is a nice person and he can give your son love, respect and care. i'm sure your son will understand when he'll get old enough to see the whole situation. and it would help if he likes your hubby from the beginning. i feel so bad for you but i'm also happy to know u've moved on in life. and trying to have a good life. seeing your 1st hubby in ur dreams doesn't mean he doesn't want you to get married. it just seems like you are thinking abt him a lot these days and he's in your subconscious mind all the time. i think you should talk to a therapist about any unresolved issues before getting remarried.  

Answer 14

I agree with Lili......... make sure you marry someone who won't hurt your kid. Psychologically as well as mentally.  

I got tricked by a guy who used my son to get me.  And he did damage to me and my son.  He was mean to my kid.  Things just got worse and worse.

If you feel doubt....... put off the marriage.

Answer 15

no you are not a bad person you are a human with a hearth just make sure you will marry someone who is a good person who wont hurt you or your kid