Dad is a alcoholic what the h**l do i do?

Question

he acts so ****** stupid when he is drunk and when i tell him sumthin like stop drinkin or u act stupid when ur drunk he jus drinks more he acts like a ****** baby and tells my mom to do everything for him,he has no job and no money but he buys beer everyday.

Answer 1

obviously you care for your dad, i grew up with my dad he was/is an alcoholic. He always had a job though, he has been working since he was 14. Over the years (especially my teenage years) I use to hassle & nag my dad about his drinking. We would get in arguments over it but, I still respected him because he is my dad. Telling him what he was doing wrong & asking him numerous times to quit drinking always caused him to drink more & yep act like a baby. Your dad knows he has a problem & when he has his child telling him that it hurts him because its the truth & well the truth hurts. Im going to say this don't tell your dad he is stupid its wrong. Im 24 married w/ 2 kids & to this day i still respect him. He is your dad. There is nothing you can do for him because if he doesn't want to help himself & if he isn't ready to stop drinking then no one will change him. If your mom hasn't changed him the woman he loves you won't be able to. So many times I have cried over my dad & his drinking but my dad has lookd at me and said "you can't change me & im an alcohalic don't you think i know that, its not that easy to quit, I know where i have gone wrong i have to live with that i don't need you telling me". He is right. your dad has to do it as much as it sucks you can't fix him or fix things for your mom. You can rant & rave at your dad make him feel smaller then he already feels, because your hurt but really what good is telling your dad he is stupid? What you can do is try in a positive way to help him see if he would want to go to some AA meetings & that you would even go with him so you could understand him better, he might refuse but its worth a try. alcoholism is like a disease. It is a disease. For your sake when your dad isn't drunk you could go to him in a respectful & calm manner & say dad can we talk? tell him you want to lay your feelings out there but don't want to fight. Tell him how you feel about his drinking what it does to you how it hurts you but don't be so mad or ashamed that you can't look at him & say i love you. At least get how your feeling out there becase if you don't now then your going to hang onto these feelings that you have towards him & it will follow you in life. I think its better to at least try to have a relationship with him. I don't at all agree with his drinking, im not saying accept it or ignore it  all because i still don't with my dad but don't let it ruin you or let it make you resent him. He is human we all have our bad habits some not as extreme to where it interferes with our life like drinking. Its hard to understand someone with an addiction & why/how they got to the point where they are. Pray for your dad, respect your dad & let him know how you feel. My mom has been praying for my dad for so many years, he hasn't stopped drinking but his drinking has slowed down & he his finally back in church, Some may say well he hasn't stopped drinking but ya know he comes to hear the word of God, not for show & this morning when my little girl said momma, papa's here im going to go sit with him. That was a blessing because i know that God is starting to stir up his heart again. God really does answer prayers not in our time line, sometimes not in the way we want him to or expect him to but he knows what he is doing. My advice is pray hard for your dad  & your mom it may take awhile but if you have faith God can do it. My faith gets weak sometimes but i can always look back & say look at all my answered prayers. I hope that you figure this out with your family I know its hard sometimes i still get frusterated with my dad, but remember he is your dad & believe it or not he does love you. Even though sometimes it may be hard to see.

Answer 2

stay away when hes drinking

Answer 3

The best thing you can do is confide in your mother into getting your father help. It's so hard to deal with an alcoholic parent, trust me, I know. And unfortunately, you have to be the adult in this situation, which truly, isn't fair to you. I'm sorry you're going through this. Best of luck. If you need anything else, I'll try my best to help.

Answer 4

find an Alanon meeting ASAP for your own sanity; until a person admits a problem and wants to get help, then there's not much that can be done; you can try family intervention, but it usually just makes the alcoholic mad because they are in denial; your mom sounds like an enabler (probably unintentionally); Both of you could benefit from Alanon

Answer 5

my dad had that prob last year and it was upsetting cuz me and my sister were both verbally abused and scarred by it and didnt like him.

my mom finally bilt up courage and said she hates him when he s drunk and she wants a divorce.

so my dad realized that if he cont he would never be allowed near me or my sis or mom

so he stopped because he loves us and didnt wanna lose us

now my dada is better and has only had one night of drinking too much since then.

sit down and tell him how it makes you feel and that you dont want to be around him if he continues that way and that he makes you upset and just let out your feelings to him

even start crying about it if u can

maybe he ll realize he needs to shape up.

if not tell your mom you dont wanna be around him  

Answer 6

When he hits bottom get him to treatment.  

Answer 7

Alcoholism is a disease. Like any disease, it needs to be treated. Without professional help, an alcoholic will probably continue to drink and may even become worse over time.

Just like any other disease, alcoholism is no one's fault. Some people who live with alcoholics blame themselves for their loved one's drinking. But the truth is, because of their disease, alcoholics would drink anyway. If your parent drinks, it won't change anything if you do better in school, help more around the house, or do any of the other things you may believe your parent wants you to do.

Other people may tell themselves that their parents drink because of some other problem, such as having a rough time at work or being out of work altogether. Parents may be having marital problems, financial problems, or someone may be sick. But even if an alcoholic parent has other problems, nothing you can do will make things better. The person with the drinking problem has to take charge of it. No one else can help an alcoholic get well.

What can you do?  You can ask him to seek help for your family's sake.  It might take you and your mom leaving to get him back on track, or maybe that won't even work.  Because alcoholism is such a widespread problem, several organizations offer confidential support groups and meetings for people living with alcoholics. Al-Anon, an organization designed to help the families and friends of alcoholics, has a group called Alateen that is specifically geared to young people living with adults who have drinking problems. Alateen is not only for children of alcoholics, it can also help teens whose parents may already be in recovery. The group Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) also offers a variety of programs and resources for people living with alcoholics.

You're not betraying your parent by seeking help. Keeping "the secret" is part of the disease of alcoholism — and it allows the problems to get worse. As with any disease, it's still possible to love a parent with alcoholism while recognizing the problems that he or she has. And it's not disloyal to seek help in dealing with the problems your parent's drinking create for you. In fact, taking care of yourself is what your dad or mom would want you to do if he or she could think about it clearly!

Answer 8

Get him help? Talk to your mother about the way you feel

Answer 9

al-anon.  you need some support to help you deal with him.  both you and your mom do.

Answer 10

First off I believe there are many levels on which you have to think about this.  The first section would be your and your families safety.  Does your dad get violent - does he do things that compromise his safety or the safety of others?  If the answer is "yes" then you should talk to your mom about it.  If she does nothing you should talk to a school counselor or call someone for help.  There are many people you can call such as alcoholics anonymous.  If they can't give you the answer they can point you in the right direction.

If he's not a danger to other people and he doesn't hurt you or anyone else in the family - you must ask yourself how often he drinks and if he has a "drinking" problem.  If he does then it's definitely time to have an intervention (with other family members) if that can't/won't happen then once again calling A.A would be a GREAT first step.

Unfortunately, as far as I know - if he hasn't become a danger to himself or others there's not MUCH you can DO to force him to stop.  If he doesn't wanna stop... He won't.  On the other hand he may just need a "wake up" call.

Good luck!

Answer 11

That is a really tough situation... realize that your dad has a disease and talk to your mom about it.  Tell her how you feel.  You should also seek out alanon or alateen.  They are both support groups for family or friends of alcoholics... I am sure you have one in your area! I think this will give you the best support and advise. I wish you the best.  Here is a link to a great website of support.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Answer 12

Honestly theres nothing you can do, take it from someone who has tried, my father is a HUGE alcoholic and he steals everyones money for his beer, my family tried so hard to get him to go in to a support group but he never would, we went through the worst time with him, but the best thing my mom ever did was leave him, you can't do anything at all to change him unless he wants to change and then still you can't do anything you have to get him at a time he's sober and get your whole family to sit down with him and talk to him and suggest major help,..don't every feel like its your fault or anything though cause its not,  but if all this fails just try and stay away from him as much as possible when he's drunk...I know the feeling its not fun, especially being beaten by them :'(