Dad isn't walking me down the isle, father-daughter dance?

Question

I've never had a relationship with my father, and though he is old (74) and I'm 22.. I'm having a wedding to my husband, since we married in a courthouse before he left for Iraq. My father and I have faught horribly, and I can't even begin to explain the terrible childhood my father gave me... This leads me to NOT having him walk me down the isle. I feel I was never his to give away... and he made it that way. My biggest reason is b/c I feel he never EARNED it... that's a privlege to the men who have worked to lvoe their daughters, and mine didn't.

so here's my question... I don't want him to completely want to kill himself (figure of speech) over me not letting him do this... so I'm giving him a father daughter dance to at least achknowledge that he's in the room/at my wedding.

I need a father-daughter dance song that isn't about love, i'm his lil girl, or completely make him look like a piece of **** infront of my family ("because of you" kelly clarkson)... he's old and a country lover.. so I wanted a johnny cash, willie nelson, hank williams/jr, type of song but i'm VERY open to anything..

please! desperate!

Answer 1

well, it's your decision if your father walks you down, and/or dances a 'father-daughter' dance.  however, that being said, you could wind up regretting it, if you don't.  and, we disagree about 'earning' the right... he's your father!  if he was in your life, if he didn't cut and run when you were born, if he supported you, financially, emotionally (even if you don't want to admit he did, or want to remember it) he's more than 'earned' it.  

but, that being said, you do have the right to say that he shouldn't.  it will shame him, it will possibly shame your mother, and other family members.  it sounds like you're trying to use your wedding as a weapon - which is a dangerous choice.  you run the risk of alienating many people, and alienating family, and burning bridges isn't the best way to start off a new life.  

i'd suggest that you NOT use 'father and daughter' by paul simon.  other than that, i have no idea what would be a good choice.  

i wish you well,

Answer 2

First of all, you not wanting to have him walk you down the aisle is perfectly normal in this situation. My father was emotionally and physically abusive, so I TOTALLY understand when you say that he needed to earn that priviledge. Not all fathers are daddies, know what I mean?

As for the song, I'm not into country, so I may not be the greatest with this suggestion, but how about something by Shania Twain that's not too sappy? You could listen to her songs on YouTube by simply googling her name.  

Answer 3

Pick a fast song.  One that is fun and keeps you moving.  Ring of Fire comes to mind, but that's kind of a love song for you and your hubby.  If you can keep it a fast song, then maybe you can get people to clap to the beat or something.  That way its a dance "just for him", but also, it's not a sentimental "touching" slow song.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

I know you have had some problems, but you will hate yourself in future if you don't make some kind of peace, especially as he is no longer a spring chicken.

"Always On My Mind" Willie Nelson

Answer 5

I'm not sure what the question is, but as far as im concerned, he IS your father, he took care of you for 18 years, even if you fought im deep inside you two hav some love for each other, he wasnt like one of those people who just let u go, he didn't leave u on the streets, he took care of u until u were ready to be on your own, so im sure he deserves some recognition. and he probably doesn't hate you, or wants to fight with u, my sister and my dad fight A LOT ever since she was in 9th grade, but i still know my dad was the one who got hurt after the fight, it was just misunderstanding, it may not be the same situation, but as long as he didnt physically hurt you, and as u said " i don't want him to kill himself" he would only do that if he really cared about being your father, if he was some loser then he'd be like wth idc. and don't make him look bad unless he abused u or anything like that.