Dad or Step Dad...how do I choose who will walk me down the aisle???

Question

I'm 24. My parents divorced when I was 14, and my mom remarried when I was 18. I love both of my Daddies but how do I choose who will walk me down the aisle and give me away to my future husband? I feel so conflicted. Both of them have done so much for me in different times in my life. Help!!!

Answer 1

                              you could have them both walk you down the isle or have one walk you down the isle and one dance with you at the reception so that each one feels special or  make sure you talk to both of them  to let them know how u feel about the whole situation and they will understand and give u a silution

Answer 2

Maybe have one walk you down the aisle and do the father-daughter dance with the other.  That or split it up, halfway down the aisle and in the middle of the dance.  Or have both of them walk with you down the aisle.  Also, nothing is stopping you from walking down the aisle yourself if you think that would work out best.  (you could even have your mother walk you down the aisle?)

Answer 3

I would say both. If it wouldnt be awkward.

I had to chose and it was hard. But my step dad stepped in when I was 12 and was more of a dad to me. When I told my dad I wanted my step dad to walk me down. . .  my dad decided not to come. It was really sad and unfair. Because I would have had both but oh well.

Answer 4

I agree with KB, have both of them do it, have them sharing it - as long as they get on, I dont see why this would be a problem. I would suggest have both at once, or if your aisle is quite narrow, then I would say have Step Dad bring you in, take you to your Dad and have your real (biological) Dad give you away to your FH :) Good luck

Answer 5

KB  has an awesome idea that blows mine away. If you really want to choose just one - then you have to pick the person who will hold  you accountable to keeping your marriage vows. The person who will be there for you in your marriage. It doesn't have as much to do with the past as it does the future. Who is likely to be most involved with the two of you in helping make decisions when asked, potentially offering to help out financially. If either of them has graciously given money to help offset the cost of the wedding I mean - they would then be a shoe in - showing that they totally are in support of your relationship and future together. What matters in the end - isn't this one day - your wedding day is a blip on the screen of a lifetime together - so pick the one who is going to be there for you in the long term - not the one who will show up for your wedding day and then disappear into oblivion for undetermined amounts of time at leisure.

Answer 6

It's wonderful that you want to include them both! I went to a wedding with a girl in the same situation as yours. She had her stepfather on one arm and her father on the other. When it came time to ask, "Who gives this woman away?" They both replied, "We do!" They both were honored and put aside differences for the day. She even had 2 father/daughter dances for them. Not one father got left out or felt left out.  

Answer 7

Get your mom's input. After all, she has to walk next to this man too. She might feel uncomfortable in a role which shows familial support with a man she divorced. Then again, she might feel uncomfortable with a man you didn't meet until you were in your teens in the role of your father.

If she doesn't care I'd say your biological father. He has always been your family, and so there is more continuity if it is him you are leaving when you go stand with your fiance.  

Answer 8

I really feel your birth dad should walk you down the aisle. Unless your step-dad would be hurt by that. If he would be hurt, have them both walk you.

This is your day. You are the bride. You do what makes you happy.  

Answer 9

You could have both of them walk  you down the aisle if both of them are okay with that.

Or, you could have your dad walk you down the aisle. Then when the pastor says, "Who gives this woman" both your step-father and mother can stand up and say, "We do."

You can also do both a father-daughter dance and a step-father/daughter dance with each of them to include both of them in some way.

Answer 10

Wow that is great that you get along well with both of them.

But it sucks in this situation.

I'd pick the one I'm closer to.

Answer 11

Have both do it. My friend just got married last year and had both her fathers walk her down. I'm only having my step-dad because I haven't spoken to my real father in 14 years. As long as they don't have a problem with each other than you should definitely have both. And for the father-daughter dance you should have a dance with each one too. Honor both fathers, you were lucky enough to have two men that loved and raised you :) Good Luck!!!

Answer 12

In my opinion, let your birth father walk you down the aisle and when it's time for the father/daughter dance honor each one of them with a song that is special and unique to each of them individually.

Oh yeah, one last thing.

When it comes to wedding you don't always have to do everything by the book. Switch it up a little and add or create your own tradition.  

Answer 13

Ashley, we went through a lot of the same thing last year.  My step daughter, who I am very close to asked me to walk her down the aisle.  At the time her and her natural dad were arguing.  Personally I thanked her for the honour of asking me but felt that her real dad had been in her life for a lot longer and so should be the one to have that right.  He did walk her down the aisle, I participated by them using my car to drive her to ceremony and help decorate it.  It is very thoughtful of you to consider your step dad also but I am positive that he would understand completely if you had your biological father walk you down the aisle. It might be nice if you explained how you have been confused about this with him but that your dad has always been there and he is the right person for this.  Have a great wedding and I am sure that both of these men are going to be very happy for you and support your decision. Best of luck.

Answer 14

I would go with your birth daddy. He was present in more years of your life than your step dad. I imagine that your real dad just expects that he will be the one to walk you down, and it may hurt his feelings pretty badly should you decide otherwise. If it comes down to it, have them both walk you down and they can say us and her mother do.

Answer 15

may i give you a straight answer?  have your own father walk you down the aisle.  also, your father daughter dance should be with him.  your own father.  no one else.  

to do anything else would be embarrassing  and hurtful to your father.  i am glad you get along with your stepfather who has been in your life only a couple years, but it would not be at all smart to include him as if he was your real father.  i would strongly caution you not to do that.   he would not in any way be expecting that and it might embarrass him also.  

after your father daughter dance, and your first dance, may i then suggest that you dance with your step dad and  your new husband dance with your mother.  this is a nice, indirect way of acknowledging your nice feelings for him.  

Answer 16

Who is the closer one to you. who loves you a lot and talks to you a lot,pick him!  PICK THE ONE YOU LOVE MORE! I would say your dad f or half and real dad for other half.  

Answer 17

I would have your bio dad walk you down the aisle, and maybe your step dad could be a groomsman? IDK, that's a tough choice! But I am sure your step dad would understand if you wanted your bio dad to do the honors....make sure you have a father daughter dance with both of them at the reception! Good luck!

Answer 18

I've seen where the step father walks her halfway down the aisle and then he hands her off to the father. Or possibly have them BOTH walk you down.

k

Answer 19

I had the same problem...My parent got divorced when I was 2 and my mom remarried when I was 6 I am now 26...

So I had my dad singing the wedding song by Peter, Paul and Mary. And my step father walked me to my dad, I stood and waited for my dad to be done singing and as soon as my dad was done singing he walked me the rest of the way...Witch was up the stairs in the Gazebo...

Obviously your father doesn't have to sing he could just be waiting 1/2 way and meet you and your step-father and walk you the rest of the way...

I felt the same way you do. There was no way I could leave my Step Dad out..

Good Luck I hope that Helps!!!

Answer 20

WOW... with all theses great answers which one to follow.  The only question that you need to ask it what will make you happier.  As a step-father I will have to experience this someday down the road (she is only four right now, I have been there since she was 2, he is in and out, whenever he feels like it) however Who knows what the future will bring and how close they will get.  FEARS on my part, but in my heart it is whatever makes her happy.  The double giving away idea from most of the answers is a great idea.  I really dont think that one bringing half way and the other bringing the other half is that great of an idea as it might make one feel not as important than the other.  If you only want one....you have a lot of thinking to do.....  In your situation because your biological father was in your life for 14 years and the step father for 5, I would understand if I was your step father if you went with your biological father.  Again WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY AND YOUR LIFE HAPPIER.

Answer 21

My dad recently photographed a wedding where the bride had both her dad and step dad walking her down the aisle. One on one arm, one on the other.

Answer 22

Surely in this day and age you can do anything...I have seen motor cycleweddingss,gayweddingss, multiple people being married at the same time..For sure you can ask them both as the mean so much to you..It would bedifferentt but who cares this is about what you want...

Answer 23

Like KB and others said have both of them do it like remember the show full house how jesse had two best men for his wedding (something like that)  Good luck on your married like.

Answer 24

I would go with the one you feel closest to. Traditionally it is your dad... but if you feel close to both of them... maybe you could do both... You could also talk to them and see what they feel about it. Good luck.

Answer 25

ask them both to walk you down the aisle at the same time. Its not uncommon these days.  sometimes even mothers walk their daughters down the aisle because the father is deceased.

Answer 26

How lucky you are to have two men you care so much about.

It's a very special time in a girl's life when they get married.  If they get along, I would have them both do it, one on each arm.

What a great question.  Good luck and let us know what you've decided.  And congrats!!!!!

Answer 27

you could have your biological father walk you down the aisle and have your father daughter dance with your step dad or vice versa...

Answer 28

My niece recently got married, Dad on one side and step-dad on other side walking her down the aisle. Both dad's got a dance at the reception

Answer 29

Do what my friend did, she got both of them together, told them how much they mean to her & how much she loves them. Then she told them they were both walking her down the aisle.

One on each arm, it was so sweet, when the minister asked'' Who gives this woman away'' they both said '' We do''.

It worked out perfect! She had both of the men she loved walk her down the aisle & no one got their feelings hurt. I hope this helps, good luck & congrats on finding that special someone to spend the rest of your life with!!!

Answer 30

Why exclude one over the other?  Why not both!  One on each arm.  When the officiant asks who is giving you away, you can have them both reply.

Good luck!

Answer 31

i say go with your biological father.. thats who should walk his daughter down the isle. let the step-dad make a speach but i'm sure your real dad has dreamed of that day since he first laid eyes on you.. he knew that one day he'd get to walk his little girl down the isle... trust me