Dad trouble? Long, but i am sinking lower by the minute? Please please please help?

Question

Ok, this all started tonight when my mom told my dad that i wanted to be Online Schooled for about 2 months (long story, don't ask) then when he heard that he went ballistic. SInce my parents were meeting at a gas station for the drop-off-point (they are not married) everyone heard him yelling at me. He thinks that since i moved and i have no firends and that i sit by myself at lunch, and that i am completely and utter-ably miserable, that i am running away. WHich is somewhat true, to an extent, so i will give him that. But he just doesn't see things MY way! Its like, its his way or no way, and i'm falling apart here at the seams! All of this happened about an hour ago, and i'm still crying hard. He hurt me because he didn't believe/trust/support me, and aren't father's supposed to do that, even if its not always the EXACT right thing to do? How can i get over this so i don't have to feel like i am the scum on the bathroom floor? Please, help and be nice. My self esteem is so low right now.

thanks for all that help

Answer 1

sounds like he answered without thinking and take a note to yourself on that....never do that!  it must be something he feels strong;y about for some reason to yell....but it has nothing to do with you.  It has to do with what he thinks should happen and how he wants things to go.  do your own thing. don't take his anger personally because he is not in his right mind right now. and....you can't expect to always get rave reviews for everything so learn to be confident enuff to follow your own heart.  good luck

Answer 2

That sucks hon... your dad did react in an unhelpful way!  

I'm not excusing it in any way, this is actually meant to make you feel more powerful and grown-up - your parents are just people.  They don't know everything.  And for some reason it's easy for them to forget the influence they have over our self-esteem and emotions.

As for the school thing - you didn't explain what happened exactly - but I will tell you most of us did go through the "I can't go back to school ever, I won't survive" thing in varying degrees.  You have to know it will get better.  (for example: I was bullied by this girl and her friends for a long time and then she moved away... then she moved back and I was popular and she had no friends!)

Answer 3

It sounds like he's worried about what kind of person you may become. Maybe he was more popular at your age, who knows. He didn't handle it very well...at all. I think he was being irrational. Maybe you need to re-think the conversation incase you might have left out or forgot something he said. I know you feel bad about it. You have every right to. He probably vented out some stress on you, and probably doesn't realize that you're a little sensative.

Father's will always try to push you into the right thing. Whatever is best for you, they won't hardly stop at anything. They back off some, but they always care. I'm 23, engaged, divorced, but engaged now, and my dad still will cuss me out if he has to if I'm not using my head about things. Ok..well he's a little better, but sometimes he just makes me more upset to where I won't come around him for a while. They mean the best, really. It's hard to swallow, but...they've been through it and are a lot smarter and they know how to deal with things to have a better outcome than you, at your age would.

You need to start thinking about you want, and realize that this isn't going to be the worst thing that happens to you. It sucks, I know. It makes you miserable, but eventually it will be ok. Just pick yourself up, figure out why you really want to do the online school, write them down...and I mean the REAL reasons, don't leave any out, and hand them over to your dad. If you show the real reasons why you want to, maybe he can help you find a solution. Sometimes it brings the best out of a person when you tell them you need their help. Try it.  

Answer 4

I went through almost the same thing- but i clung to an abusive relationship instead of dealing with the problems I had with my father.  Your father sounds like mine; manipulative.  The only way to deal with this is to be as nice and non rebellious to his face as you possibly can, and live your life the way you need to live it (but be mature and responsible) when you're not with him.  Time, love and good therapy heals all wounds.

Answer 5

Your Dad wants you to be  healthy  safe happy  educated and respectful  He wants to know that you have rules and regulations and that you follow them  Maybe he feels he can do a better job than your Mom He loves you and does not want anything bad to happen to you