Libra:You are vain, shallow and petulant. You are a spendthrift with an unerring eye for style over substance and a lifelong dedication to the quest for an easy meal ticket. You are superficial and shrewd, made of vanity, fickleness, idleness, extremes, follies, whims and inconsistencies. Underneath your vacant smile, you are an antsy malcontent, restlessly searching for satiation. When stuff doesn't satisfy your need, you turn to people. You simply can't help using people and they fall over themselves to let you. Underneath the ditzy surface is a double entry bookkeeper. You have a column for favors out and one for favors in. The books are balanced daily and you are quick to collect debt from those who owe you. You're not the sweet, helpless little cupcake you want everyone to think you are. You love the feeling of power. You're the zodiac's drag queen, a masculine sign that outclasses its inner girlie when it comes to frocking up and what were once known as feminine wiles.
Gemini:Gemini is an unreliable, rouguish sociopath with a light finger and the attention span of a hyperactive mayfly. You have a facade of sincerity; underneath that layer is a cold-eyed, cold-hearted, bad-mouthing, two-faced, reckless rumormonger who scavenges information to use to shaft someone later. There is no cunning so low you can't limbo under it; no scam so complex that you can't get your devious, slippery mind around it. Con artistry is a game to you. Yet in spite of all your conning and conniving, you are never satisfied with what you get, are you? To block out gloomy notions that you might be missing out on something better, you have to be entertained at all times, otherwise you might get bored. Ritalin is your friend.
Taurus:A stubborn, sybaritic, rut-bound bully, fueled by dull resentment and an insatiable love of money. A taurus is a hidebound, reactionary Ubermaterialist, superglued into a rut several feet deep. You are obstinate and an opinionated authoritarian. What you really like is stuff: in your mouth, on your plate, in your bank, in your bed, in the bag. You stubbornly refuse to accept the folk wisdom that tells us we can't always get what we want. And when you've got stuff, you hold on to it with a grip that it would be laughable to describe as viselike. Possessive seems too weak a word. And the evil spawn of possessiveness is murderous jealousy and resentment. You are possessive, jealous and resentful of the people in your life too. You timetable their every hour and always want to know where they are.
Leo:Leo is vain, arrogant, bossy, boastful and condescending with an all-pervasive addiction to unconditional sycophancy. All Leos are kings, yet inside your hollow crown, you know that you are an arrogant, intolerant, patronizing pompous, self-centered bully, a snob, and a drama queen. You are still stuck in your terrible twos and you can't really believe you're getting away with it. You live in fear that someone will find out you're not who you say you are and take away your crown. You absolutely have to be adored by everybody all the time. This lust for adoration is often your downfall because you are very easily flattered and believe every word. You fail to notice that while you are blissing out, others are usurping your powers. You can't hear the plotting behind the ones who are adoring you, so you can be very easily manipulated.
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