Aries:Aries is a loud, overconfident, aggressive thug with way too many Y chromosomes and a will of titanium and granite. You are all about "me-time" and don't really care how anyone goes about giving it to you. You're greedy, aggressive, argumentative, restless, willful, confrontational, headstrong and self-obsessed. You are the zodiac's permanently enraged adolescent. You have a "problem with authority." You are not subtle. No one will ever find you sitting quietly brooding or pondering. You blunder through the world, looking for new frontiers to smash. Nobody tells an Aries what to do. You have never willingly finished anything in your life. You're just one big booster rocket, all fired up for blastoff, and falling away as soon as your boredom threshold is reached. Some of you can't even get to the end of a sentence before moving on.
Pisces:Pisces is a slippery, manipulative, unreliable reality-dodger with delusions of adequacy and an addiction to sentimentality and self-destruction. You have candy-colored dreams in which you are the hero/heroine who saves the day, asking nothing but everlasting gratitude and unconditional love in return. You want to make it all better for the sad and inadequate. But, deep down, your vicarious wallowing gets in the way of your what you think you want to do and who you want to help. If by chance you do manage to get anyone back on their feet and they start succeeding at life, you get insanely jealous and start pricking their self-esteem.
Scorpio:Scorpio is an obsessive, possessive manipulator with an unquenchable lust for power and a penchant for degradation. Scorpios are power-crazed, brooding, obsessional, ruthless, intense, s**y sadists. The scorpio darkside is darker than the rest, almost out of the dark into a whole other dimension, a kind of soul-sucking meta-dark, where suddenly the words "evil" and "mastermind" seem inadequate. There is no sin, depravity, perversion, cruelty, degradation or villainy they wouldn't consider. You may never carry out your desires because you are a control supremo and find that it's sometimes even more exquisite and refined to deny yourself than to indulge. You are analytical and calculating. You have never been known to apologize for anything, since it would make you look weak; nor do you grant second chances. If people let you down, they're nonpersons and are completely shunned. If it wasn't for your self-destructive streak and obsession with s*x, the rest of us would be in trouble because you will stop at nothing to get what you want. You can always be distracted by lust. Your deadly sin is your lust: lust for power, lust for money, lust for status, lust for revenge, lust for other bodies, lust for your own.
Virgo:Virgo is a peevish, hypercritical anal-retentive, with an obsession for sterile perfectionism and a pedantic fetish for detail. Virgos are famous for telling it like it is. You are just as laceratingly tough on yourself as you are on the rest of the world, only on the inside where no one sees it. You are a negative, tiny-hearted fusspot obsessed with detail, who does nothing but carp and criticize. You secretly fear that you might be wrong, but won't admit it. You despise the weak. Your first impressions are cast in stone. You're a sucker for cults, faux gurus and food fads. You are a stickler for order and will not tolerate anything out of place, either at your own house or at another's.
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