Dating someone with bipolar

Question

I feel like a complete putz. I really care for this girl I have been struggling with her for 9 months. I catch her in alot of lies and i heard that people with bipolar have a tendency to stretch the truth. She plays head games constantly like times she says stuff to me that she is into me then she says she doesnt want me as a bf. I do not know where I stand. Just recently I went away for vacation she said she was going to come. Then she starts a fight with me saying she only wants to be friends right before I am going away.She suffers from severe social anxiety as well so I am thinking she did this to get out of being with me and family. I got pissed and words were said. I said fine. While away she contacts me saying she wishes she came with me. Why is she so d**n up and down. I mean why does she lead me on like this. She says stuff but her actions are different. I am not trying to be rude but I got to third with her and then she says she does not know where I got mixed signals. Is she really just this crazy or is she playing with me.

Answer 1

Run................... If she is bi polar this  will continue to be on going!!

She is a flip switch.. and you will  be better off looking elsewhere! Take my word for it. I know from first hand experience.

Answer 2

There's an important distinction you need to make.

A person who is mentally healthy is just as likely to be a bad partner as someone who isn't. Most relationships fail. But most people aren't mentally disordered.

Does she take her medication? Is she in therapy? Does she recognize when she is wrong?

Being bipolar does not prevent her from having a certain amount of self-introspection. Laziness does. And laziness doesn't come from bipolar. Anyone can be lazy in relationships.

I'm bipolar, and I've had several very successful relationships because I know when I'm wrong, and I work hard at it.

If she isn't willing to work at it, dump her. But understand that it's not because she's bipolar - it's because she isn't willing to work at it.

Answer 3

thats creepy

you'll regret it

and your wasting time

Answer 4

Ppl with personality issues are manipulative.  Bipolar is a mood disorder.  There is a difference.  Lying is not part of the disorder except perhaps to cover up not being able to remember things when manic.

What you are describing sounds more like communication issues, relationship issues, and probably trust issues.  And, yes, your gf sounds unstable, but the instability sounds more in personality than mood.  For example, if you gf has social anxiety, she should be able to tell you that she's very anxious about a situation and so doesn't want to go.  She should be honest and straightforward with how she feels even if the answer is that she's not sure.  In other words, I don't think the primary issues you described are related to bipolar.

Btw, unmedicated bipolar is messy, but even with those who don't medicate, manipulation is not a way of life.

Answer 5

Her being bipolar doesn't necessarily mean she is crazy. She does sound a little flighty, and maybe immature, and not ready to be in a committed relationship. If she is indeed bipolar it sounds like she is not on medication or not taking her medication. Have you spoken to her about weather or not she is on meds? I realize this is a personal subject for some people who are on meds. But if you care for her and she cares for you, this should be a subject that the two of you can talk about. She also sounds like therapy might be something she needs as well.  People who are bipolar are not predisposed to lying or any other bad behaviors than any other person.

Answer 6

i think that if you are dating her, you should think about if you can deal with this type of behavior for long. you may want to but just are incapable. or you may care for her enough to see past her illness. i have some information i found in a past Watchtower and Awake! magazines from Jehovah's Witnesses, what religion you are doesn't matter the information can still help no doubt...

In recent years bipolar disorder has received greater public attention. Traits of this illness include severe mood swings that vacillate between depression and mania. “During the depressed phase,” says a recent book published by the American Medical Association, “you may be haunted by thoughts of suicide. During the manic phase of your illness, your good judgment may evaporate and you may not be able to see the harm of your actions.”

D. J. Jaffe of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill offers this sound advice: “Don’t confuse the illness with the individual; instead, hate the disease but love the person.”

Ironically, bipolar disorder is often just as distressful—if not more so—to the sufferer. “I envy people who have balance and stability in their lives,” says a bipolar patient named Gloria. “Stability is a place that bipolar people visit. None of us actually live there.”

To be of assistance to sufferers, strive to be empathetic. (1 Corinthians 10:24; Philippians 2:4) Try to view matters through the eyes of the sufferer rather than through your own. Do not burden the individual with unreasonable expectations. “When I am accepted for the person I am now,” says Carl, who struggles with depression, “I feel that my sense of belonging is gradually being restored. With the patient help of a few older friends, I have been able to build a closer relationship with God and have found a great measure of joy in helping others to do the same.”

Many who now struggle with various types of mental illness realize that the battle with these dreadful afflictions is a long-term one. Yet, the Bible promises that in God’s new world, “no resident will say: ‘I am sick.’” (Isaiah 33:24) Gone will be the distressing ailments and maladies that plague so many today. It is indeed heartwarming to contemplate God’s promise of a new world in which all illnesses—including mood disorders—will be gone forever. At that time, says the Bible, no longer will there be mourning or outcry or pain.—Revelation 21:4.

Answer 7

She has a problem.  The question is-- "Do you want her problem to be yours?"  You will become emotionally drained eventually, and will have to go in and get help yourself.  Determine is this what you want, and act accordingly.  Life is far too short for games.  And a game is something you always want to win! --- Toni D.

Answer 8

is she on the meds that she is supposed to be on that could be a reason she is acting like that but you have to understand with bipolar people its going to be tough because they always have their highs and lows so i mean not much i could say to help you  

Answer 9

If you get anymore emotionally involved with this person, this is what life will be like. How does it feel? I am gathering it's a bother. You are sticking it out because instinct is telling you to solve the problem or stick it out because bailing means failure.

This isn't your problem.... And bailing out of emotional trauma isn't failure.

My opinion, if you don't like feeling like a putz, inadequate, upset, hurt, in emotional pain with no one to talk to, raked over the coals for dumb c**p you may or may not have done, then GET OUT of this situation. There are plenty of other women out there who (if they are on meds) will stick to taking their meds to help not just make themselves happy, but to MAKE you happy. She isn't one of them...