Daughter 13 wants to come live with me BUT aunt has adopted her & abuses her? (DHS involved adoption inthis)?

Question

It has been years since adoption has taken place. But I have seen them spent time with them and Auntie just treats her so different, She is now fighting my aunt because she is coming to terms with what happen to her (child). She has 2 of my children 11 yrs & 13 yrs. She puts them against eachother it is really heartbreaking to see. My aunt has hate in her eyes towards her, GOD it is soo sad. What can I do if anything to save her from being put in a hospital, detention center, or worst? My aunt takes her to a Psychologist but that is not what she needs, she needs to be treated with love. What can I do legally? Her sister had a hempster and she threw it against the wall because she was mad at my aunt. It is really a bad situation. I do not want to put this out there and than she is adopted by someone else it is hard.....

Consern Bio-Mother

Aunt 62 yrs old I'm 40 yrs old

Answer 1

Call CPS if you think there's something wrong

This kid DOES need a psychiatrist, you lost custody of her so obviously she's had a rough patch in life. Accept some responsibility and quit being so clueless.

Answer 2

Dont you think your kids might have some anger that you left them and just gave them away like they are trash. dont you think the aunt maybe having some problems being 62 and raising your children. Open your eyes take a look at reality.

Answer 3

All you can do is contact Child Protective Services and report what is happening.  They will then decide what action they need to take.  For all you know, your Aunt may have increasing violent problems due to Alzheimer's, dementia or an unknown stroke.

Answer 4

follow your heart!

Answer 5

CPS

Answer 6

it would all depend on why they were not raised by you and adopted by the aunt. If the children were removed from your care by cps then I highly doubt you would be allowed to have her live you with you. If it is a bad situation for her to live there they might put her in foster care. Legally you have no rights. The only thing you can do is report all this to cps.

Answer 7

Sounds like a little snot 13 year old....  How typical it is in so many situations where a child "Thinks" they have options of where to live--and then plays it up! You see this everyday with children of divorced parents! It's like the most common Trick in the book!

I can tell you one thing... One of my Aunts adopted two of her grandsons....  it was the same situation the children were taken from their parents--my cousin was the father... It was a bad situation...My aunt adopted the two boys and then a few years later let my cousin move back home....  DHS took the boys back--terminated my aunts rights and placed them someplace No One in our family has the right to know! Since we are Not Family anymore---the boys are now in the system and that is how it is...

If your Aunt is abusing your daughter call DHS and make a Child Protection Report. If you believe a child is in danger that is the only choice you have.... like anyone who sees any child in danger your position is to report it... That's all....

Otherwise---snarky--pitiful and self-centered 13 year old girls are Famous for being little snits too... and I don't know very many mothers who are going to sit there and smile sweetly at a little snot who actually thinks she can play the "I want to Live with...." Game....

It's called Triangulation one of the most well known manipulation tactics of any smart teenager...and just about as normal under the circumstances as can be.

Answer 8

well, this is a very hard situation...not even mention strange. First you have to realize that your daughter is 13 which is where the whole teenage drama starts, you know...at that age they are in the transition from being a kid to becoming a teen, so if you add up that she is living with someone else and NOT with her real mother, that really puts a weight on her shoulders, so I'm sure it's very hard for her to assimilate all this. Your aunt has been a mother for your 2 children for who knows how many years, she has been what you (I don't know the circumstances of why you have to gave away your kids??!!!) haven't, she's been the one who sets the rules in her house and like all parents know most of the teens don't like to follow the rules that they feel are unjust, so probably that's why she is acting up.

It is very important that you first understand what "abuse" is, is your aunt really abusing your child? have you witness this?? or is just yourmistaken abuse for discipline, you mentioned that your aunt is taking her to the psychologist ...so I don't think she is the bad person here, she obviosly care enough for both children ....she even adopted them!!   ....I don't want to judge you, everyone makes mistakes but we have to learn from them, I don't know the reasons why your aunt adopted your children but analize why and instead of fireing up your daughter try to make her understand that everyone loves her and everyone just wants what's best for her.  

But if you think there is neglect and real "abuse" and the welfare of your children are in danger call social services, but again I insist ...make sure this is really happening.

Answer 9

You need to get your children back some kind of way before things get out of hand or worse than what they already is.

Answer 10

Well instead of blaming the Aunt for this, I think you should accept at least 50% of the blame for this situation. What were you doing that resulted in your Aunt adopting and raising your children??! At this point the only thing you can do is go to the authorities - file police reports and call child protective services. Trust me, the chances of getting a decent response are next to none. Do what you can to make up for what you have done to your children; and the situation you have put them in. They are the innocent victims of you and your Aunt's mistakes.

Answer 11

There is abuse it must be reported and the children will be removed from her care and probably place in temporary   foster care.  How exactly did they end up being adopted by your Aunt?  If the children were removed from your care its seems unlikely you would be allowed to adopt them back or be a guardian in any form. However you just decided that you couldn’t care for them and wanted to do kinship adoption it might be possible to eventually adopt them.

I would suggest anger management classes, if the child took an innocent hamster and hurled it at the wall out of anger. I’m sorry that does not sound good. Kids who are abusive towards animals typical will go on to become abusive towards people.

Answer 12

since your daughter is older she has a little say. i would talk to family services and see what can be done.