Daughter UNINVITED?

Question

Hey everyone, A couple of days ago I got a call from a fellow mom at our counrty club saying my daughter Carlee(4) would not be allowed to come to her daughters birthday party. When I asked her why she answered" shes always very sad, it depresses the other kids". The reasonmy daughter is sad is becasue her younger sister Rylie( almost 2) has cancer and is in the hospital. She is usually very cheery and I honestly domnt think she is making the other children uncomfortable or sad. When she asked me why mommy wouldent take her to Olivia's( the birthday girl) party, I had to tell her that we were bust and she wouldent be able to go, I know on some level she knew the truth and it broke my heart to see her face crumble. I am offended by this fellow mom's attitude toward my little girl. I dont know how else I can explain it to her, she knows the situation and I have told her that Cralee is very sad, but she is still keeping her attitude.

Answer 1

that's awful! i'm so sorry to hear that. that woman is a complete idiot!!!! how inconsiderate! she has no compassion. i hope your little girl gets better. best wishes!! x*x turtle chicky

Answer 2

Call That mother and apolagize and tell her why your daughter has been acting like that...Then hopfully she will understand and feel bad for uninviteing your daughter....

Also talk to your daughter about this...tell her not to worry and tell her she souldnt be sad and depressed all the time...Tell her its great that she cares about her little sister but dont let it bring your life down the drain....

Answer 3

uhm. so whats the question?

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear about your daughters.... but, what is your question?

Answer 5

that is awful! i cant believe that a grown woman would have such a high school attitude. with your daughter only being four years old she wouldn't understand that its nothing personal and that her friend does still like her.  I'm sure you already have,but try to get her involved in activities with other kids. this might make her happier. and though some people are against this-counseling is a marvelous thing. anyone in such a tragic situation needs someone to talk to. ask around about good counselors and have your daughter see her maybe once a week. i went to one when i was younger and it made my life easier. my condolences to your whole family. best wishes.

Answer 6

if  Olivia dosnt want her to come because Carlee is sad is she really her friend? sit down and talk about it

Answer 7

I think that I would stay as far away from that lady as possible. I wouldn't allow our children to mingle, because she is obviously teaching her child how to condemn others instead of teaching her how to have compassion for them. I wouldn't want to be around anyone like that. I would also pray really hard for them. And myself, because, even though it's not me, that just makes me angry! That anyone could do that to a child who so obviously needs to be able to lighten up and have some fun. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this with your children.

Answer 8

kick that lady's ***!!

Answer 9

do the whole little kid thereapy thing.

im not even kidding.

i couldnt contact u via email, as it is not on your profile, and i already commented ur other question.

about your question divorce with kids.

ignore the comment about staying together at all costs, that will ruin your life and it is worse to hear fighting than to not see your daddy sometimes.

they may not understand that but its true.

try to be fair with custody.

im with my mom one week, dad the next.

yay.

good luckk<3

dont let it get you too down.

dont let rylie see mommy cry, okay?

hope i helped, at least a little.

thats how i roll.

[e-mail]

Answer 10

some people will never be under standing in certain situations and they will never be understanding until they are faced with the same or similar situation until then your just either gonna have to stay away from her or deal with her and keep trying to explain to her that your daughter is going through somthing very traumatic  

good luck, godbless, and best wishes to you

Answer 11

What a f**'ing B**ch!! MY goodness, she deserves an a**

whooping. Sorry for the language,but,that makes me so FURIOUS! How can people be so d**n rude?

Anyways, you say she knows whats going on,right? What is she ---satan?Any human would not act like that.

Poor Cralee, I am so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. Maybe you can  take Cralee to something really fun,like Chucke Cheese that day. Tell her that will be your special day with her. (I know this is tough while other child is in hospital, but, you gotta look out for other daughter,too)

Also, when you that lady AKA Satan, tell her that you are SO disapointed in the way she has reacted to your daughters sadness and what goes around comes around. Tell her that your daughter is SAD, she is not VIOLENT, or CONTAMINATED, its not like by her being at that party it would have put other kids in danger. If anything, she could have forgotten her probs for a bit. Then maybe later when things get better, you can throw a big party for your daughter and not invite the other girl.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you and your children.

Answer 12

I came across A LOT of parents that were like that to my son. My daughter was in the hospital for several months so of course he was sad. Parents would say that they don't want their children around the negative energy or that there kids weren't ready to be around a sad child.

It was realllllly hard for my son.. He was around 4 at the time also.. He KNEW the truth.. In my situation I had to just be real with my son.. I told him that some people do not know what it is like to have a little brother or sister that is in the hospital sick and that their parent's don't understand either.. I found different playgroups that my son was not only invited to be in but they were HAPPY to have my son be a part of their play time.. With his new friends, he didn't ever want to play with the friends whos parents were not nice about the situation again..

Answer 13

well, that women is very rude. take your daughter somewhere fun on that say so maybe she will forget about the party.

i cant believe a mother could be so rude, and misunderstanding of a little child.

Answer 14

Anymore moms you know whose childern are going?Give em a call & tell them what a sweetheart she is,Always tell your child the truth,Let her get mad at the mom.Do be nice though.That`s what will come around & bite that woman in the behind.I guess you could have your daughter call and ask her why ? she can`t come, if she acts happy could she?Boy that would embarrass her, Just call & tell her, you explained it to your daughter, that she could`nt come and she does`nt understand, Would you please explain it to her?

Answer 15

That's horrible!

I'm sorry I don't have a great answer for this, but I am so sorry that your daughter is being rejected like this.

Answer 16

I would take a card and present to the girl's party and drop it off........Along with a card for the mother stating that You're sorry that she's completely ignorant to other's feelings, but that you brought her daughter a present because you aren't going to take her mother's ignorance out on her and that you hope SHE understands how mean and spiteful it is to take a horrible situation out on such a young child who doesn't understand how shallow people can be.

EDIT:  I would make sure that it's a really sappy Sympathy card about how you're sorry to hear about someone's loss, Cross out loved one and Insert BRAIN!......

Answer 17

Tell the other mother's not to talk to Olivia's mother & tell them what she said. They will probably not go to Olivia's party. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's cancer. My sister had cancer at a young age and defeated it. She now has 4 kids & is living her life to the fullest! If I were you, I would not even bother to go to the jerk's party. You are better off ignoring them & let it brush off your shoulder's. She will eventually give in. If she does, say you would rather not go.

Best of Luck!

-Lisa

Answer 18

From what you wrote, I actually feel like slapping Olivia's mother, because whether or not Carlee is sad or happy, I don't think she should exclude Carlee from the party.

But you know what, I think you and Carlee are better off without Olivia and her mother. I think you should try to cheer Carlee up. Someone mentioned having a party at the hospital with Rylie, that sounds fun. Or maybe there's a support group for kids like Rylie, try getting involved in them, and get to know other moms with kids like Rylie. Even better if they have kids Carlee's age, then Carlee can be around people who knows what it's like.

Answer 19

i tell you what.... i'm just spiteful enough, if i would have a just because party for my daughter, i would invite the other girl, then call and uninvite the other child.  when asked why, i would tell the  mother that simply, my child is too good to be around the likes of people that can't be supportive or understanding of a child that has a sibling undergoing cancer treatments......  sorry like i said i'm spiteful

Answer 20

that woman is so folish and IGNORANT! that is soo nonsense. sure u would like to have ur child a perfect b day party, but like come on! i feel very sorry for ur daughters and i hate people who are rude and stupid at the same time. tell ur daughter it's okay and some people are just not that undersanding, hopefully she understands. but dont let a s****. mom hurt ur childs and olivia's friendship. they are prob. friends, and its not olivia's fault it's her mom's.

Answer 21

That other mother should be using this situation to teach her daughter compassion and understanding, not to reject your daughter.

Sounds like she's a very immature woman.  I am sorry that your daughter was rejected like this, and very sorry that Rylie and your family are going through this difficult time.  All the best to you and well wishes for Rylie.

Answer 22

wow.

in your situation i would simply avoid that family.  anyone that lacking in empathy and just basic humanity is not someone i would want hanging around my child, anyway.

(personally i don't see "both" sides of this story, as some have said.  there is no side of the story where you should ever be "uninviting" a kid for something that's not their fault.  even if they really felt that they had to exclude her from the party, they should simply have kept the invite list small and not mentioned it to you or your daughter so there'd be no hurt feelings.  but personally, i'd go out of my way to invite a kid to come have fun if they had so much difficulty going on in their life at the moment.  that's just appalling.)

very best wishes for both your daughters.

Answer 23

I think if you could and I know it will be hard for you with one daughter in the hospital and one at home, but plan something fun for just you and her on that day.  As for the lady being like that is horrible, and unkind.  She is just uneducated about cancer and probably scared of it.  I would just go pay her no mind because if a mother can not be compassionate of a little girls sister who is sick then she is no one you need in your life anyway.  As for Rylie  I wish all the best for her and I will be keeping her in my prayers.

Answer 24

i would write the stupid b**** a letter telling her that you wouldnt let your daughter associate with such ignorant , unintelligent people anyway !!! Your daughter is so much better then those people will ever be already at the age she is !!! it is parents like her that are rasing kids that shoot up schools !!!!

Answer 25

That's horrible.  You should tell her that your daughter is sad because her sister is sick, and wouldn't it be nice for her to have some time away from that where she can play and be a kid?  It just might cheer her up!  

It may not make a difference in her decision but that awful mother needs to hear it anyway.

Answer 26

Some people are just ignorant. And think they are better then others. Explain to your daughter that she is better off not going because she doesnt need to associate herself with those kind of people, who dont understand why 4 year olds would get so emotional over their siblings. I would also call this parent back and explain the situation better.

I'm so sorry you are put in the situation for 1 having a 2 year old daughter who is suffering and for 2 having to deal with idiotic parents who dont know what it is like.

Answer 27

That woman's a small-minded fool who makes a drama out of things that only she sees, the kids aren't sad, but the mother just fails to believe so.  If a child is sad that doesn't make other children depressed.  

Maybe you should take her to another place, she shouldn't associate with people like that anyway, take her to Chuck e Cheese or something instead, Splish Splash, pool, something fun for children.

Answer 28

Oh Man- if someone broke my daughter's heart in such a cold and ruthless way- I would- well, it's illegal so I can't post it- but you get the point!

So first, my sympathy for you and your daughters.  Cancer is no fun, at any age.

The next thing, is if you just wanted to be a little mean and vendictive towards this woman, you could call the country club and report her for being discriminatory to other members.  I'm sure everyone else would back you up, and probably petition to get this horrible woman out of your community.

The sad part is, Carlee and Olivia are probably friends.  It's not really Olivia's fault that her mother is a nasty, hateful biggot- so try not to let Carlee and Olivia's friendship be tarnished by adult retardation.  It does sound inevitable, though, for them to be seperated by the DemonLady, but maybe on a different day, take Olivia and Carlee out to do something together.

Or, if you'd just rather not have your daughter associate with spawn of The Beast, just take Carlee out and make a day of it together.  Or invite different kids over for her very own "Unbirthday Party"- kids NOT associated with the country club...

And as a side note- if you have a 2 year old strong enough to fight through cancer, I think you've been a great enough Mom to raise a 4 year old that can easily fight through a social rejection!  Her love for her sister shows... Great job, and Good Luck!

Answer 29

what a freaking b*t*h!   How dare she!  I would be so angry.

You should chuck a party for your daughter, or tell her she can have some friends over and just give them some party food, dress ups, party music and let them have a dance and pig out and painting... You know, just some fun with her friends.

And, just to make your point - invite the bi**hes kid too!

If your daughter asks why you're letting her do it, tell her it's because she's special and deserves a party coz she's been a big help while her little sister is sick.

You sound like you have an amazing little girl there and she deserves some fun.  If that cow of a mother is trying to deny her the fun of attending her daughter's party, then you should let her have a party of her own!!!!

Answer 30

the h**l with that lady and her party......That lady is  a ignorant pathetic.....shallow individual.  Do something special with your daughter that day.....

Answer 31

How bizarre! And, frankly, how implausible.

Why would anyone tell someone they _weren't_ invited to a birthday party? All she had to do was not invite her! My kids are not invited to birthday parties on a regular basis - no explanations offered or expected, kids and/or parents choose who they want to invite. It's normal. Did you simply assume she was invited to a party when she never was, and the other mum found herself in the horrible situation of having to un-invite a child she hadn't wanted to invite in the first place? She shouldn't have needed to do that. You should not have asked why. Her party, her invites.

So why didn't you just tell your daughter that not everyone gets invited to every party, and she wasn't invited to this one? You seem to have gone out of your way to get upset about this and pass the hurt onto your daughter - fancy telling a 4 year old that you can't afford to take her to a party! That's far more worrying for her than the truth would have been.