Daughter and Internet Safety?

Question

My daughter has a Club Penguin account. She's 13 and I trust her. I even got her a paid one. A few weeks ago I heard her telling her friend that she was buying a lot of cool clothes to impress the guys on Club Penguin.

The other day I was in her room getting her laundry and her computer was on, I went to shut it off when she got an e-mail(she was at school). I didn't know who it was (I know all of her friend's e-mails, it was rule when she got her own computer) and opened it. Inside it said this:

Roxi,

Hey hon. It's been two days. Why don't you e-mail me? I tried Club Penguin but you weren't on babe. What's up? Were you suspended? Call me, you have my number.

Love,

Dave

Well I looked at Dave's profile and it turns out he's a 28 year old man! I asked her brother if he knew anything and he said they met on Club Penguin and they fell in love. They exchanged e-mail adresses and he gave her his number.

I am no longer going to pay for her CP account and she knows about (c)

Answer 1

You should also take your daughter to the doctor and make sure  she's tested/ put on birth control/ given s*x ed information. It's better to be safe then find yourself with a teen pregnancy/STD.

Answer 2

No more computer for her, talk to her, take away privileges, and make sure that never happens again.

She might not have known it was wrong, but if she is 13, I hope she did!

What she did is dangerous, and she should have known that.

Perhaps take away her my space account if it is a problem too.

Answer 3

disable the computer

Answer 4

What the heck were you thinking, mom?

Cut her off all internet access, except supervised if she's doing research for homework. Period.

Plus, with her already showing such proclivities, you better do some SERIOUS talking with her about sexuality, teasing, etc.

You need to monitor everything she does - not only computer usage (make sure it's in the family room, and you have ALL passwords for email, everything else and CHECK them all the time), but where she is going and who she is with. Make sure her friends aren't letting her access stuff when she is with them.

You need to pull in the reins, NOW.

Good luck.

Answer 5

In addition to everything else that's been said (which I agree with 100% - she's obviously can't be trusted to be online without supervision) you should also notify Club Penguin and let them know who the guy is and that they may have a predator on their hands.

Answer 6

Tell her that it is inapropriate to do such things and say i am not impressed.then tell her about those internet meetings and all the bad people on the internet.Then say that if she continues this,then she will be banned of the internet for a month and is not allowed to use anything relating to it.

Answer 7

my son is 10 years old. he also has a paid  club penguin account. he knows the rules also. he is now telling me that there are girl (hopefully) penguins coming in the room asking if there are any guys. i asked my son what his responce to that was, he said he didnt answer because he wants to be friends with everybody, not just the girls coming in looking for guys. stuff like that makes you wonder. supposed to be a fun and safe site for kids. i told him he would lose computer privledges for a year if i ever catch him giving out his info like phone number, city, school or any other info like that. like you, i also went over the rules with him. but he doesnt have his own computer. he wants his own, but people in h**l want ice water too. it is good that you found out about this dave guy before something more serious happened. i hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 8

take away that computer. now!.

Answer 9

He sounds like a creepo hitting on a 13 year old!

You did the right thing!

Block Club Penguin, Habbo hotel (habbohotel.com, worse than club penguin), and myspace for now. She is abusing her priviledges and putting her life at risk. If she were to tell him your address she may not be here today!

I'd be frightened out of my wits if she were my daughter. This is just me but I would ground her.

I still don't understand because Club Penguin is for like 5 - 11 yrs old. I know many kindergarteners who go on that site, but don't do any of those things your child did. Keep me up to date!

MM

Answer 10

wow. Thats kind of scary!

good luck with that

Answer 11

Natural consequence of not being responsible online is to not be allowed online.  Disable the internet capabilty on the pc, so that she can still type papers for school but that is all.  If you don't know how to do this call tech support for the PC they should be able to walk you thru no problem.

I think you did the right thing by contacting the authorities, a man of 22 has NO BUSINESS messing with a 13 yr old girl! I'm so sorry this has happened, I wouldn't wish this mess on anyone.

As for myspace, she shouldn't have an acct in the first place, the site asks that no one under the age of 16 be allowed to have a page and this situation is just one of the good reasons for that.

Blocking certain sites IS NOT ENOUGH, he has her email address and she has his.  Communication needs to be cut off completely.

Answer 12

she knew this guy was 28?  sounds like your trust was misplaced...

you need to talk to her.

oh and tell her you don't ever want to hear of her dating anyone 15 years older than her.  not until she's 40 anyway.

Answer 13

move the computer to the living room because#1 she misused your trust

#2she did not tell you about her "relationship"

#3:do the same to her brother because how long was he trying to keep it from you  but i would delete him from her friends and block him too

#4:call the cops to report the fact that what website will alow a 28 year old man on a site with kindergarderners on it and delete her cp account delete and block his e-mail

lucky you you caught it befor it got any furter in his so called "relationship" good luck with the police and your kids

Answer 14

She abused your trust and the consequence is no computer - take it out of her room and put a password block on your computer so she cannot get on when you are not home.

Also, tell her friends' moms/dads that your daughter is not permitted to use the computer and tell them why.  Take away her cell phone if she has one.

Computers and cell phones are priviledges.  She will have to earn your trust back.  Attitude, grades, helping around the house, and taking responsibility for breaking the rules are steps in the right direction.  Requiring that she do volunteer community service will give her something to do with her spare time, and help her understand trust is precious.  Perhaps a food pantry, or an animal shelter - getting involved in doing something positive builds self-esteem.

It takes a community to raise children these days.  Secrets hurt and for her safety (and your familiy if this man decides to come to your home) - open communication with friends and family will protect your daughter, and your family.

Your daughter may be miffed with you now, yet she will thank you later for loving her enough to hold her accountable for her choices.

Good luck!