Daughter in law troubles!!!!

Question

When my 19 yr old son first got with this girl a year ago, everything was great, they were happy, they acted like big kids....well then she ended up getting pregnant and thats when the trouble began, she is a very jealous person, she is Alaskan Indian..Well she would hit my son while she was pregnant, and making him want to hit her..which he did!! now that the baby is born, all they ever do is fight in front of the baby, and I mean fight!!! fists and everything, she fights like a man..and shes a tiny little thing. She acts so innocent when shes around me, but the minute im at work or away,,she acts up with him again....recently, yesterday, she kicked in his windshield, because his EX came back to town...and her dumb friend called her and told her this, so she decided to take it out on my son, when he came home for his lunch break. He had NO idea the girl was back...but his woman started beating on him and destroying his car..she broke his very expensive phone last week... my son is hooked on pain pills as it is, and im afraid she will turn him to doing even worse things. He loves his baby and is a very good daddy, he has 2 jobs, has his own apartment for over a year..and wants to be successfull, yet all this little ***** does is knock him down, its like shes jealous of him. My question is??? Should I step in and tell her off, and try to take the baby away from her. Or just let things play out on their own. Im afraid that she will take my beautiful grandbaby away from me, to her drunken family on the indian reservation...PLEASE HELP!!

Answer 1

i don't know about this but i think it is a breakup

Answer 2

Okay this is a very bad situation. I am only 20 yrs old. I also have a baby. And so I am in the same boat. Minus the bad fighting habits. I think that girl needs to really calm down. I would go and talk to a lawyer about what you can do. Because I know you don't want to have your grand baby taken away from you and your son. So ask someone what your options are. Because this is not a good environment for your son nor the baby.

I do understand that we all have our arguments. But this is way beyond that. Please do something soon. It is very scary for me to hear this. I grew up around crazy people. We don't need this little one doing the same.  

Answer 3

I say call the police and CPS, do not get involved personally or she may try to take i out on you or start acting even more crazy...she needs help emotionally for herself before she can be a good mom.

Answer 4

Let them work it out. Maybe suggest they seek counseling or maybe try to have a night out alone to talk to each other. My fiancee and I were never that bad we didn't break things or hit each other but we did fight a lot. We both realized we weren't happy and we weren't doing anything about it. So we spent about a week apart and then when we got back together we talked about our problems and what needed to change and life in general and after that things started going really good. We love and appreciate each other again.  

Answer 5

Um, the cops should be called and nationality has nothing to do with a persons behavior. Just because she is Alaskan Indian doesn't give her a right to abuse her husband. I would call Child Protective Services as it is an unstable environment. If he's addicted to pills and she's abusive and he hits back, the child will be emotionally scarred.

Answer 6

The baby is hers, not yours, so no matter how wrong you think it is that she is treating your son.. the court wont care unless he is trying to take the baby away you have no say in this what so ever.

Answer 7

I would contact social services and make sure that u do everything by the book here so u dont get into any trouble yourself! Its either her hormones through her preg and after thatas making her like this and she needs help but to be fighting near the baby thats bad and the baby could end up being seriously hurt. If you feel the baby is in danger do as I said contact the officials and let them know she has been battering your son, I know its a hard thing for a man to stand up and say this tiny wife is beating him the way she does, but he will have to if this is to get sorted out, its still domestic violence and in the uk is not taken lightly even if its a woman beating her man up! I would then when she least expects it, get your son to bring the child over to your place then call the police try and leave her in his apartment make some excuse up so he can get over to you without her being there, so the atmosphere is calm for the baby, when he arrives at your place with the child call the police and ask for officers to come round to take a statement from you and your son regarding the violence coming from her, and tell them that you are very concerned about the babies welfare and that the baby may be harmed as she is like a crazy woman once she kicks off, they will then advise you what to do next, get a good solicitor also u will need one for it going through the courts. Good Luck Gilly x

Answer 8

Tell your son to take the baby and run away from her, she is crazy!

Answer 9

I think you sud tell her what u think, say the way she is behaving she could risk having the baby taken away from her.

I think he needs to leave her, the way shes acting he could get custody of the child.

But first u need to confront her and get the police involved before she starts making alegations towards him

x

Answer 10

its obvious that you don't like her, and even seem racist... when you said" well she ended up getting pregnant"....you are blaming her because you don't like her, I think your son got her pregnant.. just so you know......you need 2 people to conceive a child.

now I think your son is being very stupid...or he doesn't care at all..obviously they need help, but professional help, a couples counselor...not his mommy...family should not intervene in couples matters...regardless of how much pain "YOU"said hes going through...

that is not your business...

Answer 11

gosh shes terrible,but thats not reason to be racist ok?

well tell the son to move out,well stay in his apartment and she can move out

then call child services if she takes the baby away with her,prove to the police/child support/welfare etc that ur son has a good job,ur support financially and with time,a good home for the baby etc

and they might put the baby in ur care as the good granny who called them,so then u have a bigger chance as the other family drinks hits etc,tell ur son not to hit her back...iTS BAD for the baby to see this

hope that helped,xoox good luck

Answer 12

lots of advice ..hope u listen...go to the court system...or your son needs to make up his mind to take action try getting help for anger

management...for both....good luck

Answer 13

K I'm sorry but in this question you just end up sounding bitter.  The fact that your daughter in law is a member of the peoples indigenous to this country has no bearing on the situation at all.  Your son hardly sounds innocent.  

Basically, unless your grandchild is in physical danger, stay the heck out of it.  I'm sure you don't know the whole story and honestly, it's really none of your business anyways.  Your son's a big boy, if he wanted out of that situation he would be.

EDIT: Just because you're Hispanic doesn't mean you're not racist.  Racism comes from every race/ethnic group on this planet.  And you're not trying to trivialize the drug use of the father of your grandbaby, are you?  Because one might think that's a better reason to remove your grandbaby from the home than the mother's supposed temper problems.  Wake up, lady!

Answer 14

You need to talk to ur son about it first... he might want to try and work it out without your interference... then if nothing changes you should report this to the police.

Answer 15

Find the best marriage counselor affordable.  They both are children who had a child.  They need to grow up for the sake of raising their child appropriately.

Answer 16

I am having the polar opposite happening in my family.  I was abused and dealt with it for years.  You can only be there for him but don't say anything to her.  Tell him you see what is happening an want him to know if he ever decides he has had enough of her abuse than you will be there for him.  Tell him that he needs to stop hitting her and start documenting everytime she does things to him by calling the police. Also, take pictures and have documentation of her jealous rages because with this he can get custody of the baby.  She can also be forced to live within 1 hour of his residence so he can have joint custody. If worse comes to worse you have the right to seeing the baby because you are the grandparent but it can be difficult to get custody removed from her.  

Answer 17

Well like it or not, you can't take the baby away from her or it will be charged as kidnapping. What you can do is fight for custordy but i reccommend telling your son of what you think incase he disagree's with your thoughts.

Also tell him why you think you should do this and why he should leave her as you don't want to see him hurting and explain that this is not good for the childs upbringing or safety.

Answer 18

he is an adult let him deal with it. your role as Mommy isn't the same as it was.

Answer 19

Racist much?  

Your son hardly sounds like an innocent baby.  If you call the authorities and they find out Daddy is hooked on drugs, Daddy (and therefore you because you don't get along with Mommy) will be hardpressed to see baby.  

Answer 20

okay! what really gives you the right to call her names? Isn't that being a little childish yourself. After all you are grown. First of all, if you are not there, how do you know she is doing this? It could be your son blaming her. I am not saying it is, just giving you another perspective on the subject. If the baby is in danger, call child protective services. That may be your grand baby, but you don't have the right to take it away from her or your son. Let an unbiased party be the judge of things. If he is hooked on pain pills, you don't have any right to talk about her drunken family!  

Answer 21

DO NOT step in, we dont want you getting hurt aswell, i know this sounds horrable but the only thing you can do is take it to the (Sigh) law.

And HOPE they do somthing good about it, but the child and your son is not in a good enviroment at all.

or do what ide do and kill the ***** =] lol  

Answer 22

You know believe it or not, men can report physical abuse too. If he did,  he wouldn't get his face beat in all the time and he could keep his baby. He should file a report to the police.

Answer 23

Don't step in the situation taking only your son's side. Because then it's really going to cause problems. I would suggest sitting the both of them down and listen to what the both of them has to say. THEN, that's when you tell her if she doesn't calm down, that she (daughter-in-law) and your son have got to separate from one another or else this baby is going to see and hear all this fighting that they're doing. And if she doesn't stop, that you will try and get custody of the baby because of her behavior. Let Social Services know what's going on too. When Social Services see the environment the child is in, they will be totally in your corner to get custody of the baby. Good luck to you!

Answer 24

Men can be abused too, he needs to call the police.  And, if she is hitting the baby, then child protective services should be his next step.  

Answer 25

it sounds like your sons got problems too.  No child should be around anyone that is addicted to pain pills.  It sounds like they are perfect for each other.  There is nothing you can do.  Looks like you should have raised your son alittle better so that he wouldnt be addicted to pills and so that he would know to wrap his junk and not have a baby with someone that he knew for less then a year.  

Answer 26

maybe she need help professional help try to get her some counseling before she looses  any more  marble and kills some one

Answer 27

I could have written this a couple of years ago about my son and his wife - except maybe the racist stuff. It took a while, but my son and daughter-in-law have started to act more like grownups. I wanted to step in, too but I'm glad I didn't because I might not get to be around my grandson now if I had. So ... unless the baby is actually in danger, mind your own business. Your son will leave her if he wants too and if he doesn't want to he will stay with her and he will avoid seeing you. At some point we have to let our kids grow up and fight their own battles. Good luck.  

Answer 28

WOW!!! I have no idea...but yea i would get with my son & take the baby together (with the police) & file restraining orders. just make sure you have proof! It's hard to take a baby from their mother!!! LOTS OF PROOF!!!!

Answer 29

I'm sorry, but the Alaskan comment does sound racist.  Your  race doesn't make you immune to being racist.  I suggest you revise your post if you want to be taken seriously.

I have a son too, and he's being raised to know it's NEVER OK to hit a woman.  Sorry, but your son shouldn't have hit back.  First of all, two wrongs don't make a right.  Secondly, she was carrying his child at the time, so hitting her was putting his child in danger.

Finally, there is no such thing as a drug addict who's a good parent.  Your son and his girlfriend both need to get help.  Unless you acknowledge that they both have some work to do, there's nothing you can do to help them.   And since it sounds like you're in denial that your son is to blame in any way, I'd say stay out of it.  If you try to take the baby away, you not only won't win, but your precious little angel is going to be busted for drug abuse.   So your best bet is to stay out of it.

Answer 30

My suggestion is call the police about the abuse (or maybe not because your son has done some as well) but try to proove in court or somthing that she is not going to be a good guardian to the baby and that your son should get full custody. cus she clearly sounds crazy

Answer 31

I could never say it any better than BoSox did! Amen!