Daughter not so sports minded - should I push her?

Question

My 13 yr/old daughter has tried softball, swimming, racquetball, TiaKwonDo, and now volleyball. It's obvious she's not athletically inclined. Should I continue to push her though? I think it's good socially to be into some type of sport.

Answer 1

No, don't push her to be something or someone in this case, that shes not. Maybe shes not athletically inclined, but academically inclined. Maybe see if shes interested in student council, or yearbook committee or something. Good luck.

Answer 2

The worst thing a child can receive is pressing, it's better if she finds by her own way what she likes to do... it's like school, kids have different skills...

If you want to help her, you can let her decide what to do and offer your unconditional support...

Greetings.

Answer 3

One of the clues why she hates sports might be in her bust size.  If she's as big as I was at that age, she'll never like bouncing around.  

You can't really push a girl into being a sports fan and there are other activities she'll enjoy more.  I did enjoy Tai Chi (for exercise) and bellydancing where it's an asset to have more.  

There are also living history groups like the Society for Creative Anachronism (Middle Ages) and the Civil War re-enactors.  That sort of stuff encourages young people to be more mannerly, more confident, and have a real interest in history.  

Try to find activities less sporty for her.

Answer 4

i would encourage her and try to get her interested in sports

dont push her to ahrd if she hasnt found a sport shes interested in about a month try having her take up arts like dance or potery and maybe try taking herto the gym

Answer 5

I would say you should let her keep expiramenting but dont make her do anything!! kind of like me i didnt like any sports but now i found volleyball, its fun but alot of work it you want to be good, you have to practice every day! ! i am more musicly inclind so you should relly get her into more things like drama and music. (that is if she doesnet find any sports she likes)

Answer 6

dont make anybody be what they aren't or dont want to be

it is important to be social.....have you tried any clubs? study groups? student council? there are multiple ways to be socially active. ask her what she's interested in. that should help

Answer 7

If she wants to do sports activities, then do push her, but very gently.

If not, ask her what she would like to do, and encourage her in that.  If all you are concerned about is your daughter's socialisation, then other activities can provide this just as well as sports.

Answer 8

No.  It's really important for your daughter to like herself!  If she's not athletically inclined and you keep putting her on sports teams, she's going to know that she's no good at it.  Kids need to feel like they're successful at SOMETHING.  Athletes, friends and parents will make your daughter feel like c**p if she's constantly messing up.

Also, it's not fair to the other kids on the team if your daughter proves to be the weakest link at all times.  The result will be more negative than positive.

Your best bet will be to find something that your daughter is good at like musical instruments, dance or some kind of art.  Maybe she's a good writer, or good at languages.  There's always time for physical outlets like jogging later on.  Just think: in all the time that you're forcing her to do something she's NOT good at, she's losing time developing a skill that she IS good at.

Answer 9

try bring home the dvd of some movies which has contents of sporting spirit , really works for you

strike when the iron is hot     red hot

Answer 10

Try getting her into cheerleading, it may be an easier sport than the rest.

Answer 11

You said it yourself - "She is not so sports minded".  If she doesn't like sports, don't push her.  She will only resent you for forcing your will upon her.  There must be other activities available at her school or in the community where she could socialize and participate with other kids her age.  Let her find her own way, and support whatever decisions she makes.

Answer 12

The key is not to force the issue.  "Encourage" rather than "push."  But yes, continue.

Some people just aren't as gifted in athletics.  Forcing the issue will just create resentment.  Finding the right sport or team activity will be the hard part.

Being in a team environment is great both for ftiness and socially.  You are wise to get her involved.  If she isn't terribly athletically inclined, look at other sports.  Soccer?  Track, cross country?  Cycling, or other endurance sports?  Golf?

Be as positive as possible, and be up front with your motivation for encouraging her particpation.  Emphasize the fun.

Answer 13

She probably isn't athletically inclined. i don't think you should push her. ask her if she wants to do volleyball. if she doesn't, suggest some other sports, if you really want her to participate in a sport. if she does, then let her play.

Answer 14

No don't my mom pushed me to do basketball and i hated her to i just like volleyball and gymnatics kids hate for there parent to push them but then she told me i didn't have to do it so it made me feel better she thought about how i was feeling think what your daughter wants

Answer 15

I am very athletic but when I was young I was not.  My problem was eye hand coordination.  Any sport that involves a ball was difficult for me.  I later excelled in gymnatics, ballet dancing, ice skating.  You might try sometype of sport that isn't so team oriented.

Answer 16

i would find out what she wants to do and support her even if its not what you had in mind.

Answer 17

I was very similiar to your daughter- not athletically inclined. Socially, it wasn't an issue, because i was/am very musically inclined, but its gotten to be an issue as I've gotten older.

Sometimes, the competitive nature can turn kids off of sports,  and if she's not very good at them, of course she isn't having any fun!  Is there a way that you can look at non-competitive athletic activities?

I don't think that you should push your kids to do something that they are really inept in, and  not everyone is great at everything, but you have to temper that with the need to be well rounded.  Sometimes personal goals are better than team based scoring games. ( If she can lift more weight than she did last week, or run a little faster, etc). In that case, it doesn't feel like the effort in futility because she doesn't think that she'll ever win.

Answer 18

At thirteen, if she is not sports-minded, I would not recommend team sports. Probably at 13 she is pretty self-conscious and swimming wouldn't be a good thing either. Personally, I think you should give Taekwondo a try again. If she quit the first time because she didn't like it or was too young, find another Taekwondo school in your area. A good instructor will not only be able to teach the movements and techniques, but will also be able to work on the discipline and confidence issues. Also, be firm with her. Make her agree to put no-less than six months into anything she tries. You can not get good at anything unless there is time and effort involved. Good luck!

Answer 19

No you did the right thing in exposing her to it.  Maybe offer a game to go to here and there but let her make her own choices on sports.  I was fortunate I never got pushed but it was always around me either on TV at home or relatives homes and in the playground.  I don't know that she would resent you in the long run but it's not worth taking your chances.

Answer 20

If my parents pushed too hard one way, I made sure I went in the exact opposite.  You just might turn her off sports for good.  There are other ways to socialize besides sports.  Music, art, acting, debate clubs, volunteering at hosptals or animal shelters.... Are you pushing her to do something she hates for her sake or yours

Answer 21

no, not all kids are motivated by sports. look at her strengths and find a area in which she'll enjoy.  there's a lot of social area's beside sports.  4-h, science fairs, etc.

Answer 22

NO! She'll only resent you!

Answer 23

Don't push her she will find what she is into. I played all the sports and that was interesting but now I love theatre! My younger brother told my parents they would have to pay him to play outfield another day (as a 5 year old!) and now he plays guitar all the time. You might encourage her to explore the arts. And academics can be awesome too I did all kinds of math and science competitions in school. I highly encourage theater, music, art, something like that!

Answer 24

no. everyone has a nitch, and maybe sports just aren't right for your daughter. I'm sure she will find something else that is right for her. in the meantime, don't push her. She'll know when she has found her thing, and she will probably be able to do it on her own.

Answer 25

Not everybody is an athlete. Some people are artistic, some are writers, photographers, dancers. Let her find who she is and allow her to be herself. Don't push her to be what you want her to be.

Answer 26

i think you shouldn't because i know that it feels really bad when somebody is pushing you to do something you don't want to do. not everybody is made for playing sports.

Answer 27

no, and to answer honestly, for thosewho are really into their sport, don't really want people who aren't interested at all, lack passion, are too distraced to really participate on their team. That's how I feel. On a team, when I play with people on the same court, they had etter want to be there or they can sit on he bench.