Daughter scared of poo and the toilet - please help what can I do?

Question

I'm trying to toilet train my two and half year old daughter... she was telling me when she has pee'd so I decided to put undies on her and once I did that she was telling me she had to go pee and run to the toilet... I have a dora seat I put on top of our toilet seat and she would put it on there and get her stool and sit down... she would sit for a second and say ok done and get off with out doing anything.

Well one time she did pee and freaked out and started screaming. Then after that when I would take her in to the toilet she would yell and scream and say no pee. It turned even worse when I knew she had to poo... she was saying she had to poo so i'd take her in to the toilet and she was crying saying no poo... so I'd take her off but she was holding it and wouldn't poo in her pants... she kept saying she had to poo but was crying and said she wanted a nappy. I didn't put a nappy on her so she pooed in her pants and just freaked out about the poo and was screaming ... so I've put nappies back on her but she now runs and hides and does a poo and when I catch her she screams at me saying no poo go away.... i'm completely lost and have no idea what to do... how can we get over this? I didn't expect this to be so traumatic as I have a 4 yr old son who I trained at 2 and he was perfectly fine. We've been doing this on and off for about 2 months now and it doesn't seem to be working... I'd appreciate any help please!! i'm at wits end!!

Answer 1

Thats a tuff one! Maybe you should get one of those books to read to her about how eveybody poos and while your at the book store get a book for yourself about potty training girls.

Answer 2

Ok I have never been through what you are but I can only give my 2 cents and I hope it helps. One thing is create a bathroom chart and reward the kids when they use the potty. Use your 4 year old to help show the 2 yrs old that its ok and fun. Then maybe allow her in the bathroom when you have to go especially poo and let her see it. It sounds gross but if she is scared showing her that you can do it and not be hurt it might calm her. I hope this helps. GL  

Answer 3

Hold off on the potty training for a month or 2, then start over, but if she starts being interested before that you can start over. Or just work on one thing at a time, like getting her to pee but hold off on the poo. But in the mean time just talk to her about it and maybe get a book geared toward girls about potty training. Pushing will not work, neither will getting upset when she has an accident.  She is going to need patience and maybe some kind of little award (plus a lot of praise) when she does use the potty.  But just let her be for now and let her poo in the nappy (maybe loose the nappy during the day and put her in training pants) cause her holding it in can lead to problems like encopresis.

Answer 4

Get her some books, that helped with my son, it makes it sort of fun and also shows them how natural it is. The ones I would recommend is "Once Upon a Potty" and "Everyone Poops" there are so many others!

When you go potty let her watch you so she knows you do it too and it's fine. Hope this helps ... good luck! :)

Answer 5

I think you should leave her alone when she wants to go to the toilet, maybe shes constipated, I reccomend taking her to a doctor

Answer 6

Girls do potty train later then boys. Its just in their nature. She probably just isn't ready yet. You should tell her that accidents happen and that is perfectly okay but it is better to go on the potty then in her diaper. Keep up with the underwear and maybe do pull ups at night? worry about it as a day battle first. There are also movies and books... I forget what they are called but they are available at toys R Us and stores like that, about the potty. Just keep it around and show her that it is her friend. And when you catch her going to the bathroom in her pants, tell her that that means its time to go to the potty and bring her to the potty. Keep it consistant and offer rewards when she does go on the potty no matter how big or little. She will get there eventually. she just has to be ready first.  

Answer 7

Try rewarding her when she poos. Then she will want to. If this doesn't work, maybe it's painful when she poos and she needs to go to the doctor. Would she understand if you asked her if it hurt when she poos? When I was little, my mom would give me a nickel every time I went potty by myself. I got really excited about it and I kept my nickels in a jar. See if soemthing like that would work. Good luck!

Answer 8

What i would say is you sit on the toilet and let her hear you pee and tell her see mommy did it yeah!! Then let her look in the toilet and have her flush it let her say bye to it when its going down. Kids are usually scared of the noise so it eases their minds when you are saying bye to when its flushing. You need to show her that there is nothing to be afraid of and that you do it as well. Kids seem to imitate what we do and learn fairly quickly. My daughter is 2 and fully potty trained even at night i just remember her every night to not go potty and its done in the toilet she understands the words and is doing great. what i noticed at first was she is scared of the noise but by her saying bye to when it flushes eased her fear. Keep showing her that you do it to and say "see its okay" over and over. Good luck :)

*Mom of 2 year old and 33 weeks pregnant :)