Daughter thinks rules are too strict?!

Question

My out of control 16 year old daughter thinks her rules are out of line. Here are the rules we enforce.. she claims they are unfair:

-1/2 hour telephone use per day.

-No makeup or hair coloring.

-Must be in by 6 pm on weedays and 8:15 on weekends. Me or her mother must approve all people she goes out with.

-No association with homosexuals .. we do not support the lifestyle.

-Church must be attended on wednesday evening and Sunday morning.

-No boyfriends.

-No shorts, blouses, or two piece angellettos.

Are these rules really that strict?

Answer 1

yes! omg she is 16 and no boyfriend? wth! i mean she can get her own freakin car to take her places i mean 8 30 on saturday that is wrong and no makeup? that is sick. o by the way who cares if she hangs with a homo i mean it not like if she has a g*y guy as a friend she will become one. and i mean your name is sexpert and you have these stupid rules. wow

Answer 2

Um...yes!?

I'm 12 and:

-I can go on the phone for as long as I want. But no phone after 10 pm.

-I don't want to wear make-up. But I'm allowed a little blush, and lip gloss.

-My curfew is street lights. Unless it's like a movie or I'm at a friend's. I can hang-out with who ever I want.My parents have to approve, too. But it's usually fine with them. Even if it's with boys.

-WHY!? What do you have against them? That's just not right.

-Fine whatever. I used to be Christian, now I'm an Atheist.

-Why? She's 16! I don't want to date, but don't you trust her?

-Oh come on! Shorts????? Blouses????? What does she wear? Jeans and sweaters all the time? What are angellettos?

Answer 3

That us way to strict. As soon as your kid gets a night off freedom there gonna be like, homosexuals,drugs, hooker clothes, achahol, s*x. I only have one night to live lets do it all. then thell die or end up pregenat. so i sugest u lighten up.

Answer 4

1. Oh wow...I'm on the fone for like an hour per person I talk to.

2. Not too bad,, I only wear a bit of eyeliner and very rarely;; hair coloring,, thats not bad at all

3. Ahh...I'm in whenever they call me

4. Extremely homophobic,, whether or not YOU support the lifestyle they're still people and don't deserve to be looked down upon

5. I go like almost every Sunday,, but never Wednesday--we live too far away to make it out

6. Not too bad--theres plenty of things she can do without one lol

7. I barely wear shorts;;only gym shorts..there are some settings where a blouse would be appropriate. and idk what two piece angellettos are...

The strict ones would be 1,4, 7, 3 and 5

Answer 5

wondering what religion you guys are, since it is obvious that you are not Christians....

One of the things Christ asked his followers to do was to hang out with non-believers and by word and deed show them how to love God.   So if you don't support homosexual beliefs then maybe instead of shunning them, you should be embracing them?

As for no boyfriends.... she's gonna have them, and now she has them without your knowledge.  You should be limiting her freedom with the boyfriend and monitoring the contact with the boyfriend so that you do know what is going on.... or else at 18, you won't see her for 2 years until you get the phone call that her and her kids are in a hotel someplace after being beaten, and would you please help..... and its a bit late then.

Answer 6

-1/2 hour a day phone thats not enough for a teenage girl

-maybe allow her to use some makeup but no hair coloring

-6pm on weekdays shes 16 not 13 maybe like 7pm

-just because she hangs with homosexuals doesnt mean shes gona become one...

my friend had the same kind of rules and the more rules u inforce the more she will break them! she wasnt aloud a cell fone she bought her own and paid for it... not aloud to have a myspace she made one... ect.. ect..

Answer 7

Are you kidding me!?! Those are wayy to strict for a 16 year old to follow. 6 P.M.????

No makeup!!??!!

No hair Colors?!? My hair is a new color every month!!

No association with Homosexuals? Thats the one that pisses me off right there!!

Church is fine.

NO BOYFRIENDS?!? What do u want her to grow old alone??

No shorts?!!? Oh GOSH!!!

YOu are wayy to strict with her!!

I don't blame her for being upset!!!!

Answer 8

lol wow. yessss they are.

-even elementary school kids are on the phone longer than 30 mins. or at least I was.

-teen girls like to experiment. as long as her makeup isn't something dramatic i think it would be ok.

-16 year old in the house at 6:00 pm. even school related activities keep you out longer than that.

-homosexuals-hmmm. idk. because she's you daughter.

-church rules are ok.

some of ur rules are what most parent can identify with like the no boyfriends and stuff, but rules like your curfew is ridiculous.

-but she is your child. so you have every right.

Answer 9

no i think they aren't strict enough

answer my question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 10

yess i think u shouldnt have the first and second rule. makeup and hair coloring is ok as long as its not too much. i agree with the 3rd rule but approving everyone she goes out with sounds resonable but what if she gets a bf or somethin. then i would hate that rule cuz its happening to me right now and i dont like my parents for that. the 4th rule shouldnt be there. the 5th rule shouldnt be there. the 6th rule shouldnt be there. she can wear whatever she wants as long as she looks decent enough to go outside.

Answer 11

Coming from the man with the name SEXPERT!

-1/2 hour telephone use per day. I WOULD SAY IT'S FAIR.

-No makeup or hair coloring. NOOOO. . .  LIPGLOSS AND EYE MAKEUP IS FINE.

-Must be in by 6 pm on weedays and 8:15 on weekends. Me or her mother must approve all people she goes out with. NOT FAIR. EVERY CHILD HAS FRIENDS THEIR PARENTS WOULDNT APPROVE OF...

-No association with homosexuals .. we do not support the lifestyle. THATS SO 2000. LEARN HOW TO  EMBRACE DIFFERENT PEOPLE... THATS JUST WEIRD..

-Church must be attended on wednesday evening and Sunday morning.

-No boyfriends. NOT FAIR. PERIOD.

-No shorts, blouses, or two piece angellettos. GOD WE ARENT IN THE 1800'S..

Answer 12

Yes, WAAAAYYYY strict! Holy c**p! I come from a christian family too here are the rules for my 15 year old sister:

-No phone during dinner, any other family time, or after 10:30 PM

- If they don't like her make up that day they reserve the right to make her change it. She can do what ever she wants with her hair within reason.

-Must be home an hour before she has to go to bed on schooldays and 11 PM on non-school days. Same thing with the parental approval.

- They don't have a policy on g**s, but she's never tried to hang out with a g*y person, so IDK what they would do if she did.

- Church should be attended sundays, the only acceptions are if she is verry sick.

- Boyfriends should be no more than 1 year older than her.

- as long as she isn't in a super short skirt or a top that shows her bra, they don't have much of a rule there, she mainly just wears jeans aand a tee or cami.

Answer 13

WOW

some of those rules are reallyy strict

im only 15 and my mom lets me talk on the phones for more then 2 hours.

and i barely go to church. and i am alowed to wear shorts but not really short

and she's 16! she shold be allowed to have a boyfriend and she should be allowed to wear makeup

Answer 14

-No boyfriends.

-No shorts, blouses

No association with homosexuals????

What are you trying to do!?

She's 16 and as long as you know were she is and if it's a safe place then you should just leave her alone. And who cares if you don't support homosexuals, if she finds good friends like that then you have no right on not letting her be with them.  Church on sunday is fine, but let her have her own life. 2 hours on the phone? I'm younger than her and I sometimes need to use the phone for longer time,

Really not only are they strict, they are really wrong, and if you don't let her have some freedom then she is going to become a revel. And I don't I would blame her.

Answer 15

Oh God yes.  I can guarantee that when your daughter turns 18 she is going to fly out the door and go absolutely crazy.

But you're the parent, so you make the rules...although those did cross the strict line.  Let her live a little bit.  The tighter you are on her, the more wild she will turn out once she is 18 and on her own.

Answer 16

Some are, like the phone I am 14 and I talk up to 2 hours on the phone and there is nothing wrong with me! I think you should ATLEAST give her an hour on weekends. I think you should also let her experiment with make up. Make up is to enhance natural beauty, so let her go with a natural look. The shorts thing is ridiculous! You should make it where she has to put her arms straight down and if the shorts go past her finger tips they are long enough. I really don't get the rule with the blouses, but whatever.  

Answer 17

Yes.  Those rules are far too strict.  By trying to control every aspect of her behavior in that way, even trying to control who she is friends with and what she thinks about social issues such as homosexuality, you are only CAUSING her to be "out of control."  She is rebelling against your unfair and restrictive lifestyle you're trying to force upon her.  She just wants to be like the other good girls at her school, wearing skirts and having boyfriends (having a boyfriend doesn't mean you're having s*x - I had six boyfriends in high school and didn't have s*x with any of them) and wearing makeup.

If you recognized your daughter for what she is - AN AUTONOMOUS PERSON WITH HER OWN LIFE, HER OWN VIEWS ABOUT THE WORLD, AND HER OWN MIND, CAPABLE OF MAKING HER OWN DECISIONS ABOUT HER OWN BODY - she would be easier to live with.

Lighten up, Job!

Answer 18

thats terrible!!! wayyy to strict!!!  i would die if i had to live by those rules!!! your daughter is growing up give her some RESPECT.

no makeup, dont you think thats her decision?? like i think thats an ok rule for a 9 year old!! oh man please tell me you let her watch pg 13 movies...

those curfiews are insane. 10:00 on weekends, 8:00 on weekdays

if she wants to go to church, let her, if not dont force it religion is strictly HER dicision.

and i think no assosiation with homosexuals is bs. i cant belive you would say that that is like the most DISRESPECTFUL thing to say. i cant believe you im like that is so rude. SO RUDE.

no boyfriends, again, her decision. most people (people not girls because its perfectly ok for a boy to date a boy) start getting boyfriends at age like 12.  

no shorts, like in the summer??? that one just doesnt make sense.

honestly im kinda hoping this whole thing was a joke. Because its hard to believe.

Answer 19

these are pretty strict if shes 16 im fourteen and i cn talk as long as i want as long as its before 9 which is still ridiculous. People in fourth grade have boyfriends. make up isnt going to cause any problems and let her change her hair color as long as its a normal color. and as for the homosexuals you can sometimes not even tell if they are so just tell her you dont approve but let her make her own judgements.  and what is wrong with shorts? little kids wear shorts. im all for the church on Sundays but Wednesdays should be optional. And as for the friends it doesnt make any sense for you to try to approve because ppl act diffrent around adults. so quite frankly u are ridiculously strict. Im not going to say rules arent needed because they are especially at this age but they need to be reasonable

Answer 20

ur a loser

i mean no offence but u really are the biggest loser

your daugher is two years short of being officially an adult and yet she has to be in by 8:15 on weekends  and have any boyfriends. i mean jesus what sort of a kid were you?.....dont u know what it feels like to be in her position?

i guess you must like treating people badly cus you have no life yourself so you dont want ur daugher to have one

i feel for your daugher having such ******* for parents

Answer 21

yessss ~!!!! you HAVE to be kidding

i think forcing religion on your kids is a form of child abuse

and not letting a 16 y/o girl cover up blemishs and not wear a bit of mascara are near torture for her

Answer 22

A 16 year old girl should be allowed to wear makeup.

ARE YOU NUTS WITH YOUR CURFEW??? I suggest 9 on school nights and midnight on weekends.

She should really start dating, its abnormal for her not to date, and its part of growing up socially.

Just so you know-I hope you don't expect to hear from her the second she turns 18, because she will not have good feelings towards you two. I would also be worried about depression/suicide because she is most likely behind all of her friends developmentally and she prob hates her life (prob why you are on here asking this question).

Answer 23

putting this strict of rules in place will make her rebell.all 16yr olds wear makeup, talk on phones longer than 1/2hr wear shorts and blouses. Relax on some of these rules trust your daughter and you will be happier in the long run.also a parent

Answer 24

Out of control daughter? So were these rules given because of punishment or something along the lines of that?

With her being a 16 yr. old, she is almost a young adult. Giving her with a little more freedom wouldn't hurt. Having herself step into the real world without so much of help of mommy & daddy will be beneficial because she can be able to learn things on her own.

I'm 14 years old, and looking at these rules I can't help but to feel overwhelmed. All I'm seeing is "No this..." and "No that..." I mean a little mascara to play up the eyes isn't too dramatic.

If there's a reason why these rules must be enforced (loss of trust, rowdy, etc.), I can see where you're coming from. But other than that, give the girl some freedom.

Answer 25

You know what? They ARE too strict!

And also, being a psych major, I dont think you are a real father. First of all, your name is SEXPERT. If you were really that Christian and strict, I dont believe that this would be your name

Answer 26

yes! are you kidding?

At sixteen teenagers want to be exploring themselves and trying to figure out who they are and who their real friends are. SHe can barely TALK to her friends if she has to be in by 6 on weekdays and 8 on weekends! Forcing religion upon a child is just plain wrong. Makeup is just part of a teenagers life. it makes them feel pretty and boosts self confidence. Clothes are important to a teen- self explanatory. As for association with homosexuals- that's a little over the top. There's nothing wrong with being g*y- they are still good people.

Answer 27

Yes, your rules are really strict.  Half an hour on the telephone per day?  PER DAY?!  I'd die.  There would be a lot of fights in my house if that is what my rules were.  You do realize that when she goes off to college she's probably going to:

1: Communicate with people for more than a half an hour per day.

2. Wear make up

3:  Be in much later than 8:15

etc.

Answer 28

No - not too strict.

It is unfair to expect teens to make good decisions on their own because they do not have the knowledge to do so, and they are driven by hormones to get pregnant. It is the parent's responsibility to make the child's decisions and children raised strictly mostly are happier than children that run the street.

You are raising your child in a safe and secure environment. Just realize that a lot of parents are raising their children to be bimbo s***s.

Maybe it is time to send her to Our Lady of Perpetual Misery Convent and Military Academy.

Answer 29

she shoud call cys this is horrible for heavan sake she is 16!!!!!!!!!!

make up should be allowed

telephone use longer than that.

that is such a early curfew.

so what g*y people are cool she could get in less trouble with a g*y guy than a strait one.

boyfriends should be allowed.

why no shorts. heaven forbid if her ankles show that must be a sin..

no blouses who cares its just freaking clothes..

seriolsy get a freaking life stop trying to control hers and get some stress pills nad stay on them

u have raised her so strict its horrible she could ahve a bigger problem she could be self harming herself..

stupid!!! i dont like ur rules at all she probally sneaks around like i doo..

and church is fine but let her have a freakin life..

Answer 30

Yes your to strict! She's 16 not 12!!

I say let her wear make-up!

Let her stay out until 8:00 during the week & 10:00 weekends!

Let her have a boyfriend-as long as you know him & approve of him

Let her talk on the phone more than 30 minutes a day - limit each call to 10/15 minutes

And no shorts? Come on it's hot! Let the poor girl wear some shorts-they make long shorts now- not daisy dukes !!

I agree with you on church & with the hair coloring & I have no opinion on the homosexuals issue! You think it's bad now wait until she turns 18 & leaves your house & then is really out of control b/c she didn't get to do anything-then she'll be back at your house with a baby or 2! Let her have a little freedom - you can't control everything she does even if you are just trying to protect her!  

Answer 31

Yes, no wonder she's rebelious.

I would compromise on all of the rules you listed. Allow telephone use, she needs to be social. At 16, she's ready for natural looking make-up, it won't hurt anybody. Compromise the time she comes home, if she shows responsiblity, let up on the times. Homosexuals aren't bad people. Don't force religeon, or she'll never follow it when she's older. I would say, she's probably old enough for a boyfriend. And every girl needs shorts, it gets hot in the summer! At first, let up just a little bit, and if she shows responsiblity, reward it with compromising more rules.