Daughter trouble!!! plz help.

Question

I just had my third baby about a week ago. He's a little boy and i love him so much, but loving my baby boy is taking me away from spending time with my two other girls. Particularly my 4 year old. My other daughter is 9 and she understands and i explained to them both but i dont think Maddie (My four year old) really understood. Babies are alot of work and my new baby is pretty restless. he only takes a few short naps during the day and he needs my full attention when he's awake or else he cries. I love all of my kids just the samebut i havent been able to do much with my Maddie. Several times when im changing feeding or trying to put the baby to sleep she asks if i can play with her and i have to say Not now. And then having a baby is hard work so when i can sometimes i try to squeeze a nap in my schedule. So sometimes when the baby is asleep i still cant really play because i dont have enough energy. Please help!

Answer 1

Is dad around? If so then ask him to take the baby for a day and go spend an entire day with the girls. He has to have a day off sometime that you can do that! Take her to the hair salon and get a haircut or go get manicures together. Little girls love that stuff. Take her to lunch at her favorite restaurant and then go catch a movie! Do something to let her know she is special and while you are out you can answer any questions and reassure her that you still love her just the same but you are just busier than you used to be.

My kids are 10, 6, and 2 all right about 4 years apart and we went through basically the same thing. Except that our middle was our boy. Have you started involving her with the baby? You can do that by having her help feed him a bottle, she can sit in your lap and "rock the baby" with you, she can tell him stories (4yo kids are great story tellers), she can help change his diaper, get his pacifier and lots of other things that she can do to help you that aren't critical to the babies health.

Also while the baby is asleep is the perfect time to play with the other kids. Even though you are existed and want to fall over. It's time to read them a story or do something calm.  

Answer 2

have her help with the baby it will make her feel important

Answer 3

How can loving your baby tale you away from another being o precious. You need to work out how to all play and interact together, as its not fair on the girls. Yes a baby is more demanding, but you need to work it out so you spend quality time with the other 2.

Answer 4

get Maddie involved with the baby's stuff. ask her to prepare milk, clothes for the baby, start teaching maddie to help you out in day to day matters, even if she's only 4 make her realize that she's the big sisi and needs to take care of the baby, it'll be fun i guess.. lol

you'll be working a lot at start as you'd be teaching maddie as well as doing the baby stuff yourself. things will get better soon.

please let me know if it works. Thanks

Answer 5

So I guess asking if there is anyone to help you would be a waste of time? Correct?

Do you have parents or friends who can help you a couple times a week so that you can have a little free time to spend with your girls?

You are tired and I understand that being that I also just had baby #2 not so long ago, but your children dont care, nor do they understand.

However, you did just have the baby a 1week or so ago and in the beginning its hard! But try to explain (ina way a 4yr old can understand) that the baby really needs you ALOT right now, and soon he will be on a schedule that will allowyou to get more sleep so that you can have energy to do more with your girls. And maybe you can try to do things with all of them together, like take walks together, sing songs, read books, etc. Even if your only doing a little bit more with your daughter every day, to her it will feel like ALOT!! Good Luck and hang in there!  

Answer 6

dont worry..it was the same for me too. just forget any routine you may have at the moment and go with the flow...it may be chaos, jobs may not get done, but i promise..all of a sudden one day..it just clicks into place and a routine is established from the former chaos....just chill, and let it happen. this was the best advice i ever recieved...NO ROUTINE FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS...my goodness it worked too !!! good luck xx

Answer 7

Congratulations on your new baby! It's only a week since you gave birth so it's not surprising you're tired! Perhaps you could give your four year old daughter little "jobs" to do to help with her little brother, such as fetching a clean nappy or whatever. It might make her feel useful and that she has an important role to play in being big sister. I'm sure things will settle in time. It's early days but you sound like a caring, loving mum, so I'm sure everything will settle down and work out. Just keep telling them all you love them!  

Answer 8

If you can't be away from the baby that much you should let your daughters interact with their little brother. Set them both down on the couch with you and your son and let them hold him.

Also, you would be surprised how much a 9 year old can help you out (changing the baby's diapers, holding him, etc.)

Answer 9

have your 9 year old help take care of the baby. also you really need to give attention to maddie. when she becomes a teenager she could become a problem if she doesnt get enough attention while shes young. she might not listen to you. try and find games that you can do with all 3 of your children. maybe hold the baby while you have fun with your 2 girls. good luck!