Daughter wanting to come home...?

Question

A little back ground: I have a 5 year old little girl. Her dad was iHer dad got out of prison when she was 2, went back in and got out about 7 months ago... I've always had my daughter and he had been doing his best (that i know of) when it comes to being a parent... I am actually really proud of him... but we recently made the decision to have joint custody (so he wont have to pay child support) on our own without the courts... he has her for 7 days, then I have her for 7 days. Lately my daughter has been calling me 2 to 3 times a day when she is with him saying she wants to come home. It breaks my heart!! I want to cry all the time for her.

I don't want to keep her from her dad, but of course I want to go pick her up. How should I handle this? Should I try to keep her and ask for child support and go through the courts - or does she just need to get more used to what is going on? We have been doing this for about 3 months now.

Any suggestions would be greatful. Thanks

Answer 1

If the situation was working well for your daughter, she still wouldn't be so unhappy at her dad's place that she would call you several times a day.

I would keep her full time. There should be no need to formalize your sole custody throught the courts since you said that the joint arrangement was not a formal court decision but a private arrangement. Go back to the arrangement you had before with her dad paying child support (which he should want to do) and your daughter staying with you (which is the original court ordered arrangement).

Your daughter can still see her dad under whatever formal arrangement you had previously. As it is, she is going to resent and maybe dislike her dad for keeping her from coming home to you as she desperately wants to do.

If I have misunderstood you and you don't even have a legal divorce or were never married, then you should get a good attorney and follow his/her advice for what would be in the best interest of your little girl.

Good luck!! : /

Answer 2

Give the child what she wants.  If she wants you, you should do what you can to make that happen.  Your daughter should be able to decide when she sees her dad, and for how long.

Answer 3

Ask why she wants to come home first?

Answer 4

Well first you should ask her whats wrong when she calls to see whats the reason for her wanting to come home. Just to make sure that he's not bothering her or if there are people over there messing with her. But I think she just has to get use to it and get use to being around her father. once she's been around him for a while then she should stop calling you. There's no reason for putting him on child support if he's taking care of her on his own and giving her money. Thats silly.