Daughter won't call (address) 'Dad'!?

Question

A 17 yr old, girl, won't call 'Dad' but can refer to 'Dad' to a 3rd party. It is a family of 2 children, older, boy, 19 calls Dad without problem but Dad has records, the girl only called him 'Dad' twice in her life. When she wants to talk to him she looks in his direction but never calls him anything. I have asked her why she doesnt call 'Dad', she sometimes denies it but one time said she chokes, aa! As far as I know, nothing big the dad has done to her, he has been taking care of the children even more than mom coz mom worked more hours, so I expected the children to be close to the dad (mom passed on and this was the case even when mom was alive). The only thing is, she thinks dad is strict but from my close observation, nothing so big apart from the normal teenage proms. The 2 children are a bit distanced from dad. I have seen and heard but not a child who cannot call bio Dad, or Father etc. Anybody come across the same thing??

Answer 1

If you don't live with them then you don't know what's happened between them over the years.  Although, sometimes even living with someone you still don't know what's happened between 2 other members of the household.

she is angry at him--could be she blames him for her mother's death--she may not even be aware of this. there is something going on here  between them that neither of them are acknowledging.  (it doesn't necessarily have to be sinister)

if you're dad then the two of you are past due for a trip to the therapist's office.

if you're the brother then you should suggest that they go to counseling to find out what the problem is, then drop it.

if you are another family member or close family friend then talk to each of them and suggest therapy for them, then drop it.

if you're someone else then stay out of it. It's none of your business, it's for her and her dad to deal with or ignore.

Answer 2

Some people (my girlfriend included) just can't seem to do it, maybe they just don't feel close to that particular family member and are more comfortable refering to them by name. i think i understand but if you're going to ask a question can you make it readable

Answer 3

what  dad has records? wtf learn to write properly

Answer 4

Sometimes when you see children attempt to distance themselves from a parent it is a cry foe attention.  Get the kids alone and ask her if he has ever given her a reason why she does not call him Dad.  Tell her you are there for her no matter what the answer.

Hopefully they are not being abused but you never know.

If she will not open up to you, talk to her counselor at school and see if they can help (Or another person who is older than her that you trust(Even if they are only a few years older.  Favorite aunt may be a good choice for these questions.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I don't quite understand the "records" reference, unless you mean a criminal record?

Anyway, perhaps she hates her father? I know I refused to call my father Dad after my mother died in 1966 because I hated him. He was physically and mentally abusive. Perhaps something similar to this is what's going on with the 17 year old and her father.

Maybe you, as an outsider (I'm assuming), could suggest a family counselor for her and/or father. I hope they can make things right. It's pretty awful to live in such an unhappy situation day after day. Good luck. ♥ ∞

Answer 6

Are you the dad here?  Teenager, especially girls are a strange lot.  She is just going through some sort of phase.  I wouldn't  take it too much to heart.