Day Care Provider w/ someone's screaming, crying child!?

Question

I'm a day care provider. I just started watching a 1 yr old who screams & cries almost the whole time. The afternoons are better. But she either wants me to hold her or be near her in the same room. If I walk to the kitchen where she can still see me, she throws a fit cuz I left the room. When I put her in her high chair to eat, she throws a fit. When I lay her down for a nap, she throws a fit. I hope this is just an adjustment period, but my sister had the same issue w/ a different child, she tried for 2 mos & finally couldn't do it any more.

What can I do to help this child adjust & to get her to stop throwing fits! It's unfair to the other children & my family. It disrupts everyone elses sleep schedule. Her Mom & I are aquaintences, so it would be very hard for me to tell her I can't watch her kid any more, I don't know if I could do it. I want to give it a try for at least 2 wks though. Should I just ignor her cries & go about my normal buisness?

Answer 1

Is she used to being held often?  Do you have a carrier that you can put her in for short periods in the morning, at least until she learns to trust you?  I know you can't carry her all day, but being a daycare provider, you may want to look into all the different types of carriers available.

http://www.thebabywearer.com/

I'm sure she will calm down once you gain her trust.  It must be hard for a baby to be put into a full time daycare situation all of a sudden like that.  Try to be gentle with her and give her time to get used to it.  Does she use a pacifier that might calm her down?  Perhaps a blanket or stuffed toy from home could be comforting-one of her mom's t-shirts that she could cuddle.  

I would give her a few weeks and if she doesn't show any sign of calming down I would let the mother know that she is going to have to go elsewhere.  I would want to know if my child screamed all day at daycare.  Maybe this mom is going to have to stay home or foot the bill for in-home child care?

Answer 2

Being a daycare provider myself, I know this can be a hard thing.  In my handbook, I allow a two week transition period when getting all children.  This allows for that time that they just don't know you and are scared, and allows you an out if it just won't stop.

The first think I would do is as been stated, ask the mother what she likes at home.  Ask if she is held often and what her temperament is normally.  If she is held a lot and she has a short fuse, she may not be for you.  Some kids are just like this, and need that one on one attention.  Having other kids, this can often be an issue.  

Time outs and such won't work for a 1 year old.  That is just too young.  They will either get used to you, or fight you all the way.  I understand that you don't want to tell the mother no, but  for me, having a child like that isn't good for me or for them.  

See where you are after two weeks and go from there. The child doesn't have to be completely ok with you after two weeks, but as long as the child is showing improvement...

Good luck, this is a hard situation to deal with.  I have been there.

Lindy

Answer 3

The child is spoiled, the problem is with the parents.  They will probably never change.  Any good you can do will be undone when the child goes home.

Answer 4

Wow, that sounds almost identical to my situation.  I am the mother of an angelic 8-month old.  At home she never cries, she is loved, but not spoiled.  She will happily entertain herself with toys on her playmat.  As long as she eats on her regular schedule she will go the entire day without crying.  And she naps regularly.  

We started with a daycare provider about 6 weeks ago, without a hitch.  All of a sudden, for the past week the provider says that the baby has cried almost non-stop.  And I've noticed that she is not napping well, 30-min. tops, while she usually naps twice a day at home for about 1-2 hours at a time.  So right now, I'm thinking that part of the crying is that she is just exhausted.  But I don't know what to tell the daycare provider to do to console the little one so that she will sleep.

Since things started out so smoothly I would think that we were past the transition period.  I would think it was teething or illness, but like I said, I don't see that behavior at home.  Now, I am scouring the net for any ideas of what can be done for my little one.  As much as I would like to be a stay at home mom, it is simply not possible right now.  I need a solution so that my baby doesn't get bounced from daycare provider to provider.

Curious:  Please talk to the mom, and work with the mom to find a solution (I will write back if I find something that works for my baby).  I am pretty laidback too, and perhaps the mom that you are dealing with may not realize how serious the issue is.  For me, it went from "she had a rough day", to here's a termination letter giving me 2-weeks notice. Be straight up with the mom, and tell her that you need some ideas or solutions on how to console her baby.  Let her know that you are running out of ideas on your own, and you are concerned.  Even for the most laidback of moms, this let's her know that you need her to take action.  I know that there are some crazy parents out there that maybe make talking about these kind of things difficult, but more often than not, working moms care and want to be involved in making sure that their little ones are well; after all a working mom is still a mom.

-signed a sympathetic and concerned mom

Answer 5

I would try to distract her with activities to avoid fits.  As far as the unstoppable fits, I'd try time out and ignoring her.  I think giving attention because someone is screaming only feeds her want to scream for more attention.  I babysat a girl for about 8 months who used to scream and lose it alot.  She had some pipes too.  I used to count to three to give her time to stop.  Then I'd give her a choice.  Go to your room alone, or stop acting like a baby.  She eventually would just buck up and stop crying.  With her better behavior, I'd find a fun activity and tell her that's what big girls do, not cry like babies.

Answer 6

How long has it been?  If it's still relatively new to her, it's probably still a transition thing.  Ask the mom what kinds of things she likes to do at home (what videos, games, toys she likes).  Perhaps if the mom brings over a few things from home, the kid would feel a bit more comfortable because there will be something she recognizes over at your place, maybe even a picture or recording (video or audio - singing lullabys maybe) of mom (if it's a separation thing).  However, if the mom is the type who coddles every little whim, then there will be very little you can do to get an adjustment going and then it probably just isn't a good fit.  It's so hard when they are 1 as you can't really talk with them and they don't understand you!  Good luck.

Answer 7

I wonder if you got a photo album or laminated picture of her mom/family that might help?  Something to keep her occupied.  Or you could try one of moms shirts that she's worn, or a pillowcase/pillow.  Ask mom not to wash it so it smells like her.  Good luck.  I think my son was the cryer at his daycare and when I started working there about a year after he started they finally reveiled how horrific it was.  I felt awful and wished they'd told me.  I got to see first hand how frustrating it was.