Day care vs mothers care?

Question

as a child my mother was always home with me until i went to preschool. I was always a very shy child, but after i went to preschool i made friends and had alot of fun, even spoke more to everyone. Im now in my 20's, and am wondering if anyone sees a noticable differance in personality in kids who were sent to daycare versus those whose mothers were home with them.

Answer 1

my daughter is gonna be 4 in september, she's been going to daycare since she was 1. she loves it! sometimes she cries when i walk throufg the door to pick her up cuz she still wants to play. she knows how to write her name, she counts to 30, and up to 10 in spanish, knows all her colors and shapes, her abc's, she can recite the pledge of allegiance. she is sooo smart and i believe it has a lot to do with the fact she goes to preschool/daycare. but then again, her provider is my best friends sister. i've known her for 12 years, and she recently opened up a center. i wouldn't trust my angel with strangers.

Answer 2

My 18 month old doesn't go to daycare, and she is anything but shy! she loves people and love to play with children when she is around them. Basically she loves to have all the attention on her. I'm not really for daycare, but it is necessary for some parents. i have my daughter go on play dates so she still is able to interact with others instead of just me or my husband. if a child is exposed to others with out daycare they should still be fine when it comes to peer interaction when the time comes.

Answer 3

Ok, what's with all of the daycare questions today??????

My son loves daycare.  Since he's been going there, he's turned into a little social butterfly.  :)

I never went to daycare.  I'm more quiet and reserved.

Answer 4

i think mothers care is best afterall thats why we have children to love and care for them but pre school is great for them as they get to make friends and it prepare them for big school, but we live in a world where both parents need to work and the kids go to creche and thats just the way things are now

Answer 5

I am sure there are alot of differences.  Being raised by your own parents is the way to go. Daycare is bullshit, its too bad that generally both parents have to work in this society.  I do beleive it takes a village to raise a child. But for a parent to just shoo their kid into a day care, and then in front of tv and vidoe games when they get home is not good in any sense.  I beleive people with a real interest should help take care of children, family members, friends, etc..... not people just getting a paycheck to do their 'job".  Teach a child how to use their own mind and you will be amazed at how they turn out. thanks.  GO TO h**l DAYCARE!!!!!

Answer 6

for me it would come down to wether i could do it or not

my mom says she misses those days when we were young (she's a stay at home mom)

based on other opinions i hear, stay with your kids if you can- they grow up so fast

Answer 7

They may be less shy to start with, but day care children get sick more, and miss out on a lot because they're stuck in a room with a bunch of other kids whose parents aren't involved.

If you stay home with them or have a nanny, make sure they're enrolled in a lot of classes and activities before they get to preschool to help socialize them. Take them places, Gymboree, swimming lessons, coffee shops with play areas, the zoo...and have a lot of play dates with other children so they will be better socialized when it is time for school.

As a teacher, I have noticed that kids who are stuck in daycare all day and go home in the evening tend to have more behavior problems and bad attitudes, which I think comes from inconsistency in discipline from day care and home. The parents are tired when they pick them up and sometimes let things slide more than they should, which makes the child think that since they sometimes get away with it and sometimes don't, they might as well try and see what happens.

I definitely think that having a mother at home is best, a nanny is a close second, and I never recommend daycare to anyone.

Answer 8

Granddaughter was very fractious, didn't take to people and was difficult to handle or look after. At 6 months parents both working, child had to go to day care. Completely different child within weeks, happy, content and easy to look after. Aware of her world and curious. Ready to crawl and explore. I could not believe the difference in so short a time, all for the better.

Answer 9

with ur mother its safer,in this world right now its hard to trust people

Answer 10

I stay home with my one year old daughter, but I have friends with small kids, and I have a young niece, so she is exposed to other kids all the time. I think it's important to socialize young kids so they aren't as nervous when they go to preschool. It's harder for some kids then it is for others, just because kids personalities can be really different. My daughter has always loved people, but some kids are just shy!

Answer 11

well if its the social aspect of it that you are wondering about then.. think of it this way: stay home- make sure you have the kid invloved in activites that include otehr kids. school: they are automatically introduced to social situations.

so which ever you prefer is what you should do. socializing a child doesnt need to be done via daycare.

note: i worked at a daycare (a pretty nice one) and i really loved working there, i loved the kids and it was very hard to leave... but:

i will NEVER send my child to daycare.

Answer 12

I was always at home with my mom too and when I first went to preschool I was ovewhelmed by all the other people! I remember how lost I felt cause i'd never been around sooo many kids before so I guess there is somewhat of a difference!

Answer 13

Funny, there was just an article about this on MSNBC yesterday......

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25517847/

Answer 14

One thing I think helps kids, is when they are around older kids, whether it be older siblings or ones at a daycare.  Often little kids want to do what the big kids are doing.

So if those big kids are good role models, I believe thats a postitive thing.  

Since you'll probably get answers all over the board, i thought id include that.

Answer 15

Yes. The children without mother care become confused with the whole mother system, and they don't respect their moms as much. However, the children without day care are often times more shy.

Answer 16

I don't know the stats, but I have heard that daycare children are more outgoing and better at dealing with conflict at an older age, however the conflicts at daycare with their  peers seem to tear them apart, but I guess thats how they learn to handle it.

Answer 17

I do find that children interact better when at daycare and become more sociable. Though in saying that, I worked in many of daycare centers, and I would never send my kids to one. Teachers pick favorites, kids run around with snotty nose, get forced to do things they don't want etc etc. Having first hand experience, while I think its good for the children, I have seen what goes on, and I dont like them.

I prefer play group, or mummys group. Lots of kids for them to interact together, but all us mummies are there to watch on have a chat and cuppa

Answer 18

well to me there is a difference between daycare and preschool. Daycare is where kids go while their parents work so they can be cared for. Preschool is where a child goes to learn and they go for 2 1/2 hours per day a few days a week not because the parent needs a babysitter but because the parent chooses to send their child to preschool.

My kids never went to daycare. I did send them to preschool at age 3 for two days per week  2 1/2 hours each time. Then at age 4 they went 3 days and at age 5 started kindergarten. I think preschool is great for building skills and socialization and just adjusting to a school setting before going to kindergarten.

All my kids went to preschool and yet my youngest is still on the shy side. It's just in his nature so I don't think preschool/daycare changes that much, it might help but I think kids are either shy or not shy by nature.

Answer 19

daycare kids are less close to their parents, i hear

Answer 20

My mom was home with me until I was in the 4th grade! We never had a babysitter and she spent all of her time with my 2 sisters and me. I read a report my Kindergarten teacher wrote about me. She said I was quiet, withdrawn and didn't interact with the children. I was always shy growing up. In my opinion, the kids that went to Preschool, daycare, and church programs were more social and interacted with their peers much more than I did.

Answer 21

I'm a 22 yr. old mother of a 4 1/2 yr. old.  I've experienced both.  I think daycare is better for the child & mother.  Of course you do have to investigate the facilities, the state puts reports online.  I waited for my daughter to walk before i put her in one.  Then I moved out of state & she stayed home with me again for a year, then I moved back home and put her back in school (katrina), and now where at home for summer vac!  But I think its better for her to be around children her age & get the education at the same time.  Plus mommy needs her break too!  Children get bored too, sitting home watching tv with mom isn't the best for a child.  Now she can't wait to go back to school!  But as far as personality, shes always been really friendly in & out of school.

Answer 22

My mom worked with me and was home for my sister.

My sister has way more issues due to my mom being a complete nutter.

Seriously,  it depends on each individual and each family.  I've known people on both sides of the fence.  I don't think you can say for sure what is better.

Answer 23

I feel that if a mother has that opportunity to be at home with their child/children than they should as long as the are willing to involve the child /children in active surrounding with other chirldren on a daily base. I feel that children are more active and more socialble when interacting with children their own ages.  I feel that is important for both parent and child to be around their own ages.  I grow up in a single parent home and my mother had to work, now that i am older, I understand the reason why she worked so much and thank god that she was truly handling business for us to get out of the getto, however i can't say that it did not effect me, cause it did. For me I just remember mommy not be home and that is what I really wanted. Most children (like myself) could not understand the reason/s parent was not home but they remember that parent/s is absent and that is what i feel most remember. If you are a stay at home parent, get involved with other stay home parents and have outings eveyday with the children, that way they are interacting daily with kids their age and you with adults.

Have a Great day!

LT

Answer 24

I think that it depends on the individual - as each child is completely different as to their needs. My mom stayed home with all of us and my sister is a social butterfly with more friends than I could even count, my brother is on the shy side and doesn't have a whole lot of friends but is very educated, I seem to fall right in the middle I have friends, but I'm also a bit quiet at first.

In my opinion I would stay home with the child if possible, I find that daycares are less attentive to a child's needs and if your child has allergies it's harder for them to keep track. As far as socialization there are mommy groups that one could join to have their little one interact with other children.

Answer 25

personally i believe that it is ok to send the child to daycare because from very young they learn to interact with different children and their varying personalties.

Answer 26

I would not make my decision to chose between day care or mother's care based on which one I thought would yield a more outgoing personality in my child.  The truth is that a lot of our personalities are hard wired from birth, and the rest we pick up from our environment.  Day care is usually not a very loving place, especially for very young babies and toddlers.  Plus, it's simply not worth the cost unless you are earning over a certain amount of money, especially once you add in the cost of gas, wardrobe (if you dress up for work), lunch money etc.  

If you are really worried about your children's social skills, then get together with other mommies with kids the same age...or have them go to a day care for a morning or two mornings a week rather than the entire day every week.

Just my two cents.