Daycare issues and what to do?

Question

My son is 14 months old and after staying home with me this summer, he just started daycare again. He has only been there a week and he is miserable. How do I know if it is just him wanting to stay home with mama or if it is the actual daycare?

Also, they are forcing him to take naps when he never took a nap at his previous daycare without a problem. They didn't tell me he wasn't eating his lunches until Thursday. In only 4 days he already had a horrible cold and had to stay home Friday. Also Thurs when I picked him up they were outside and he was standing all alone holding onto the chained fence that seperates the age group playgrounds and crying, being ignored. When I picked him up the worker immediately started in on me about him refusing to take a nap and that he screams bloody murder each day at nap time. My son is not a cryer, never has been. This makes me feel like something is really wrong. How do I know if I am just being overprotective or if something really is wrong with this place?

Answer 1

I think that you should go with your gut.  You know your child best and if you go somewhere else and it's the same then maybe you were wrong.  But I say better safe then sorry.

Answer 2

A loving involved parent is 1 000 times better then any daycare. He's only yours for a short time before he's grown.

Kids who grow up feeling safe and loved turn into leaders and world changers.

Do the right thing..  

Answer 3

It's hard to tell.  I don't know you or your child personally.  I do have a friend who works in a daycare.  There are a few "problem" children who refuse to take naps, spit, hit, bite, etc.  Their parents REFUSE to believe that their child is doing anything wrong (they always have some excuse, some as poor as "I'm sure the other kid started it").  I'm not saying your child is definitely a problem child, but anything is possible.  It's also possible that the daycare isn't right for you.  You will have to investigate and stay objective.

Answer 4

no something is wrong. i worked at a daycare and my son attends one and if the child does not want to take a nap they CANNOT force him/her they simply put him in the room with the older children while the others take a nap.

I would be very angry if i went to pick my son up and he was secluded and crying without being consoled. you have every right to be angry.

i would definitely take it up with the head worker. document the things and days so that your story is legit.

The fact that he isn't eating lunches is also bull. what kind of daycare is this? I would talk with the head honcho of start looking for another daycare.  

Answer 5

well it sounds to me like if it was the day care. you can talk to the manger about it they should answer all your questions. also do a little research about the day care you might be able to find something. but you never know the kid might be homesick.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

try talking to the other parents and see what they say?  

Answer 7

Being a mother of two and knowing exactly how hard it is to leave your children after staying home with them every day for an extended period of time, I'd say to go with your instincts.  If you feel it's the daycare, then I'd find a new one.  If I walked into a daycare and saw my son standing there crying, it would break my heart.  It hurts just to think about that.  I never like to see my children upset if I can control the situation.  It's normal to get colds at daycare, but forcing him to take a nap is a bit extreme.  I'd find a new daycare if I were you, but also explain to your son how important it is for you to go to work. He might not understand, but if you spend some extra time with him whenever you can, he might adjust better.  If things don't improve at a different daycare, then you'll know it's not the daycare but him and be able to go from there.  Best of luck.

Answer 8

i have a couple of points to mention here.... some I will probably get thumbs down for but.... well i guess i can handle that.. BUT i'll start with a thumbs up point

Your son seems miserable there so you should begin looking for other means of caring for him while you work and the fact that the lady screamed at you about him not wanting to nap says to me that she is not someone who should be watching a kid if she will scream at an adult

However, my big - look out here comes the thumbs down moment- problem is that you said your child doesn't take naps at 14 months??/  Research has proven that children this age NEED that extra sleep.  It is essential to their development that they get this extra rest so i am hoping that u were not upset about them trying to get your child to nap.   Now as a parent of 3, I understand that young children will not always nap at that age - esp at a daycare - but I hope that he is napping at least when he is home with you

Also, hte colds are normal... he is being exposed to many new children with many new germs that he has never been exposed to before and although it is difficult for us as parents to deal with a sick baby, it is inevitable in daycare.  My 7month old was staying with family until 3 weeks ago when i was forced to put her in daycare 2ndary to my niece getting a new job and she has been sick with one thing or another since..... my five year old went through the same thing... it's tough I know... but no matter where you put him you will end up with the colds...

bottom line.. if you truly in your heart feel that there is a problem with the day care and thats why he's miserable and he's not just miserable because he's not home with you... then pull him out and find a better place for him... and if u truly believe that there is neglect going on at that day care then call your Dept of Health and Human Resources and report it!   i wish u and ur baby boy the best!

Answer 9

Maybe this daycare is run by people who have no concept of what they need to do in order to make new, young children feel welcome and secure.  

Perhaps you can find another daycare... ask them for references (people who already have their kids enrolled, preferably).  Your child deserves a nice place to spend his days.

I hope it works out.