Deadbeat dad: How do I handle this?

Question

The sperm donor abandoned me when I was 14 weeks pregnant. I am now 31 weeks and trying to plan for when the baby gets here. I have not heard, nor received help from the s.d. since he left and moved 3 states away with his mommy and daddy.

I will not list him on the birth certificate, and because we were not married, I understand I will have to get a dna test to get child support. How do I go about getting child support? I can't afford a lawyer. Is there an agency I can file with?

Answer 1

It doesn't look like he is going to be much help.  If you can't afford the DNA test how are you going to afford the attorney?  It's probably best to forget he exists, at least this way you don't have to share custody with the loser.  Start getting your paperwork together now for government assistance.  I KNOW you don't want it.  I KNOW you are proud to be doing this all on your own and working hard to support yourself but come on!  Pretty soon you are going to be in labor, then a new mom.  What happens when that grant ends?  Swallow your pride and get the ball rolling.  For you and your baby's sake.  Homeless and hungry is scary alone but with a newborn it's just plain ignorant.  Just be prepared is all I am saying.  Consider the sperm donor as dead.  Get into survival mode and do whatever needs to be done to survive.  Especially when your job ends and you have an infant to take of.

Answer 2

he's a sperm donor, not a person who was gonna be in the baby's life... his job is kinda done...

Answer 3

Usually through a Department of Health and Human Seriveces (DHHR). They provide testing and such especially if you have state provided insurance. Not sure what state you are in or what services they offer, but I would check there and not worry about a lawyer at this time.

Answer 4

Talk to the family courts to see how to proceed...maybe you can qualify for legal aid.  See what the family courts can do for you.  You will have to get court ordered DNA tests, as well as court ordered support payments.

Answer 5

well, s.d. is what i call me ex  he left after my daughter was born. you can go the the department of human services, they can help you and the health department will do a dna test farely cheap.  then dhs will handle helping you get child support from him.  hope i helped feel free to email me if u need more assistance and good luck

Answer 6

Hi there...

I don't know how it's handled in your state, but here's what I had to do.

I did not list him on the birth certificate because he wasn't there to sign.

When I applied for child support, they contacted him.  He had a choice - he could sign an acknowledgement of paternity or ask for a paternity test (thru child support enforcement).

If the paternity test proved him to be the father, he would be responsible for paying for the test (about $200).  If he was not the father, I would be responsible for payment of the test.

He signed the acknowledgement.  LOL

Answer 7

Actually, I believe if you are on medicaid... then the baby will be put on there as well.  They will ask you if you know who the father is.  You don't have to put him on the birth certificate.  The government will look for him and pay for the DNA test.  You can also contact child support enforcement in your area (once the baby is born).. they offer free assistance.  They also offer legal assistance.  Good Luck!

Answer 8

It doesn't matter if your on public assistance or not but they can help you collect child support. They have a child support agency. Depending on your state (which it sounds like you did your homework already) He will maybe deny paternity but the state can demand a DNA and if comes back that indeed he is the father then he will pay for the test if it comes back he is not the father it is your responsibility. Again depending on your state they may garnish his wages for you and mail you a check or give you a debit card. As long as he is working legally they will track him down. and if he is not and they cannot track him down it will start to acru and his income tax can be withheld. Keep ALL receipts and medical bills like explanation of benefits as he can be responsible for half of that too. Once the DNA does show he is the father he may be added to the birth certificate (again depending on your state) and the amount of child support varies from state. Some states require him to give you 20% of what he makes other expect 20% of yours and his income combined. Best of luck with your Baby

Answer 9

Find Dept of Child Support Enforcement in your state (often in the Social Services Dept). Give them the name and info of the SD and once the baby arrives they will do the DNA test and help you with the collection of support. I think it is great you are taking care of things on your own, but day care and a new baby are very costly so you may want to check on day care assistance (you don't have to be on any other assistance to do this in most states). Call the local social service dept and ask them for the number to support assistance. Good luck.

Answer 10

the department of social services will take care of it but you will need to pay for the  dna test and once his child support is overdue a certain dollar amt they will revoke his drivers lic. and garnish his wages

Answer 11

I didn't read through the other comments, so I apologize if I repeat anything.

Depending on your state, there should be a government office called "Support Enforcement"....or something to that affect.

What you do is go in a fill out all applicable paperwork.  It would be amazing if you know the s.d.'s address, that way he could be sent all the paperwork also.

The only way you would have to prove paternity is if he denies the child.  Then, Support Enforcement will front the cost of the DNA test.  If he is, in fact, the father - he will have to pay Support Enforcement back. If he's not -then the cost is on you.

I've been in your exact situation.

My son's father isn't on the birth certificate either.

Of course, my s.d. couldn't deny the child if he wanted to....my son is the spitting image of the punk.

Hope this helped out.

:-)

Answer 12

Go through the OFFICE OF RECOVERY SERVICES. They will issue a DNA test. If the child IS HIS HE will be oredered to pay for the test. If he is not you have to pay. But after test is done they will start taking child support payment. No matter where he moves or how many times he changes jobs child support orders are with you for life. He can't escape it. And it's a felony after 10,000.00 in back child support so it's in his best interest to pay. GOOD LUCK! :) (laws may vary by state)

Answer 13

For the first thing I saw.....You would not be able to put him on the birth certificate even if you wanted to becasue you were not married and he will not be there to sign paternity acknowledgment papers.

You will not have to pay for the DNA test.  Alls you have to do is go to your local child support office and tell them that you want services started.  They will track him down serve him with papers.  And he will be served with DNA test papers and given a location and a date he needs to show up.

He will be given 3 chances if he does not go in then they will automaticaly name him the father and then they will start to collect unless he contests the amount that they are trying to set it at.

Good luck!!!

It usually takes a year to even start getting payments if he refuses to take the tests.

Answer 14

A sperm donor is just that...a donor, nothing more.  You chose to have a child on your own from the sound of it and now that you are faced with the fact you will be having a child you are scared and now wanting someone to do this with.  Your mistake.  Good Luck.

Answer 15

if you apply for WIC (which you should), they will help look for the @a*****e

sorry this happened to you, just know that you are doing the right thing for your child