My parents amaze me so much. They are like the typical asian parents who expect you to do better than everyone else and I read an article on why this is the reason why so many asians are successful. But what amazes me is that at the same time as expecting and nagging me to do well, they seem to be the root of me messing up. Actually its my choice to mess up to keep them happy by doing what they want. And in return I have to listen to how worthless I am and all my thoughts are wrong.
I did exceptionally well in my GCSES, but they never really had involvement there (If i say, I was quite academically talented). Then I messed up my A levels, I messed up uni spending five years there and ending up with a diploma (and may I add that my father was only too happy that I stayed home and studied at the local uni regardless of what course I did). I decided to go away to travel to india and spend some time with family expecting to spend at least 3-4 weeks traveling too, but some how I managed to spend the whole 5 months with my extended family (which I enjoyed, but it would have been nice to have had gone traveling seeing as I had the time and it wasn't like I didn't plan to spend time with the family). And this was also down to my folks having involvement in what I do even though I was thousands of miles away! So I came back and applied for jobs and being under qualified, I couldn't find anywhere close by. So I widened my search and managed to get an offer 50 miles away. It is an awesome opportunity they would train me and being a huge multi national company with huge contracts I had scope to progress. Now I was also expecting to return on weekends, but on low salary I can't afford a car and traveling back home on weekends on local transport, especially on Sundays is too much of a hassle taking up to 3 hrs and so many changes. When the q came up I said I would come back now and then and of course they would be phoning to annoy me everyday anyway like they did when I went traveling (they totally ruined my day when they did this and I was supposed to be enjoying it) but they didn't want to know and when I said ok i'll tell them i'm turning down the offer they continued to have an argument with me and the best bit is they will have no regrets or feel bad for me for missing an opportunity thats potentially my big break and better in the long run.
I guess this last thing about work sums up my boring worthless life. An opportunity comes my way and I have to turn it down to make my folks happy. and the thing is i'm not scared of loosing them, its other people in the family I care about which is why I choose to mess up my life otherwise I would have been long gone or even accepted this work offer without discussing it with my folks. And the only option is to now put myself into the family business but this is where it all gets typical again. because i'm younger than my elders 'I know nothing' and so while they're around I just listen to them and do as i'm told. I even said to my dad I would be so into getting into business but what scope have i got if I can't have any valid say or responsibility in the business (which by the way he knows the ideas I discuss in general about the business are always right. eg I told him to diversify and bring in certain products and he didn't listen to me but years later he listens to outsiders and in a way is forced to due to economic and commodity pressures and its working).
anyway i had my moan thanks for reading. i've decided now to put up with the c**p at home, take a crappy call centre job, have no prospects, ambition or drive and learn the family business and wait for my uncle to retire so that i can be made a silent partner officially but loyal dog in terms of working.
best wishes to all u other ppl i will wish that i am the only one to go through this as this situation really messes the head up, without drugs or alcohol abuse!
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