Dealing with hubby's ex wife.....?

Question

Ok, I have been with my hubby for 11 years, married 8 years.. His exwife cheated on him, he left her, and then we met and hooked up... She was so mad that she blamed me for everything. They have an almost 15 yr old daughter together.. at first things were so bad, she didnt want me to answer the phone, or the door when she would bring her over, etc.. lots of drama..

anyway, we have lived in Florida for the past 5 years and they are in Pennsylvania. We use to go up to visit when we could, and also get her over the summer months.

I joined the army last year, and was medically discharged and on disability, which doesn't pay hardly anything.

Money situations are at their all time worse ever for us right now, including all utilities ready to be shut off..

ok the problem is the ex has been talking so much c**p about her dad and me to my stepdaughter, the ex has a great job and makes much more than my husband but still gets 400 a month in child support.. when she comes down for the summer we still have to pay for summer camps and stuff while she still gets child support. This summer we were not able to afford for her to come down. the ex will not offer to help, will not let her fly by herself. She keeps calling her dad upset, crying, and saying she wants to come down and see us but her mom won't let her...

what would you do?

Answer 1

Sounds like the ex-wife is still bitter.  Maybe you could appeal to the compassionate side of her but if her own daughter can't get through to her I'm not sure what else would.  It's pretty rotten of her to do that to her baby.

Answer 2

I wouldn't do anything, but then I wouldn't have to. I've never gotten involved with anybody that had children (my current girlfriend doesn't) and I never would, it's a dealbreaker.

Answer 3

That's why I don't want to marry someone who has a child from another person. It brings lots of resentment and life becomes not so nice.

Man and woman meet, they love, they get marry, they have family, they live happy forever.

You deserve much better man.

Answer 4

Tough one, love.  A 15-year-old can fly unaccompanied with no restrictions.  If she is using the child as a pawn in some sick attempt to punish you and her ex, then the damage to the child may be irreparable.  How happy is the child with the custodial parent, in comparison to her father?  If you suspect mistreatment, then be her mom and fight for your rights.  Her happiness should be the most important thing on your mind.

Option 2: Emancipate her.  She's 15, right?

Option 3: Wait 3 years, and legally she's an adult. No child support, no worries, eh?

Answer 5

If my child were in PA, I would be living in PA.  What could be more important than being around your kid all the time, do you know how low this girls self esteem will be for the rest of her life, because Daddy didnt care enough to even live close to her.  This kinda stuff makes me so angry, and $400 a month is NOTHING for a kid these days.  Get down on your knees and thank his ex wife for basically supporting his child and caring for his child the majority of her life!

Answer 6

So what you are saying is the ex is selling the child? If child support is for the child and he has to pay it to her to help with the child, then when the child is with him the support is for the child she should have to pay it to him. Your in a pickle I was in but do not worry here is a link you need to look at and this woman can be in so much trouble. Also my husband x has to pay back child support in abatement every time we have him for over 7 days check with the local court. Do not take everything the court says as fact also do not sign anything Friend of Court says unless you like it 100% as Friend of Court is not a court and those are often not judges. Just walk out when you do not like what FOC says and demand to see a judge ask for a court date. And check this out

http://fathersrights.org/

Answer 7

Well, while she is at your home, you should not have to pay child support. While she is at your house, you should be paying for any extra activities that she attends. If you feel the child support is too much, contest it and the courts will re-evaluate it. There must be a reason his ex does not want her 15 year old flying by herself. There needs to be more open communication between her and your husband. The best way to begin that is to swallow some pride and keep the communication line open. You can not be involved right now. This is for your husband to do.