Dealing with loss of a parent

Question

My father has been hospitalized with kidney problems. He's going on into his late 70s, and has had some pretty rough years healthwise since his late 50s. He's always been strong, but in the last five years has weakened and begun to decline in mobility and strength.

Can anyone suggest ways to deal with the potential loss of a parent. We're all waiting for news, and nobody thinks he's going to die. It's just a case of having reality hit a little harder than we were prepared for.

Thank you in advance for any words of sympathy, and for your suggestions about how to handle this.

Answer 1

Have you heard of www.caringbridge.org?  

My Uncle Sam is presently dying with pancreatic cancer.  His family has maintained a website through Caring Bridge during his illness, and I think it has really helped them.  

His daughter is blogging about the illness and what's going on in their lives, which is therapeutic for her.  She posts photos of Sam with loved ones.  People sign a guestbook and write about how he has touched their lives.  Someone reads these entries to Sam, and it really comforts him.  I check the site daily.

I'm sure if you started something like this, people would be interested in reading and writing about him.

Did I mention it's all free?  Give it a look, anyway.

I wish you the best.

Answer 2

Hang and go out with friends. take a short trip. anyway, i hope everything turns out ok. god bless :]

Answer 3

find a buddy who have went through something similar or pray about

(sorry for your problem)

Answer 4

your first step should be to feel really lucky that you got to have your parent for that long

Focus on the positive times, and talk to people about how you are feeling

Answer 5

it is going to be a tough thing to go thru i went thru it with my dad in 2004 it is hard, just be sure to tell him everyday how much he means to you ,

there is a great group on yahoo,email me and i will send you the link ,

they listen and people are going thru the same thing that you are it helps alot ,

just be there for each other my family fell apart and it was hard,

it is not going to be an easy thing to do no matter how old or young they are ,

i will say a prayer for your dad take it from me i don't want to see anyone else loose their dad ,,

Answer 6

There is no easy answer to this...All I can say is losing a parent is hard and I don't think one ever gets over it...just learns how to cope with it.

I'm an orphan now...and that's exactly how it feels...even though I've been raised and have a family of my own.  It's scary, too.  I mean there's no one that will catch you if you fall...not like a parent.  

Faith is how you cope...because faith gives you reasons that something so horrible serves a bigger purpose.  I strongly believe our parents (or other loved ones) take care of us even after their gone...perhaps they are even able to take care of us better than when they were here sharing our world because they are closer to God and understand more.  

I suggest sharing and talking to your father as much as possible.  Share every story and don't forget to let him know how much he means to you.  Forgive him anything that may have been painful in the past and offer him the ability to talk about anything he may want to, so he may go without any regret...what a gift; however, I must say, you'll always miss him.

Take care.

  

Answer 7

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.  Losing a parent is hard, I just lost my Dad last year to cancer and he was only 55.  My advice is to reach out to a support group, even now, a group for caregivers or people dealing with loved ones that are ill can be helpful.  It may not ease your pain, but it may help you feel not so alone.  I joined an online cancer support group, and still post from time to time.  Understand that you will not feel normal for a long time, and I still question what normal is, as I still cry and have my moments.  You NEVER get over it, but each day, each month, you start to find you will have a few more good days than bad.  Spend as much time with him as you can, tell him you love him.  Be kind to yourself, surround yourself with friends and family that love you, and never let anyone make you feel like you should be done grieving at a certain point.  It is different for everyone!!!  Best of wishes and hugs to you and your Dad! =)