Dealing with social anxiety and its affects?

Question

(sorry this is so long)

i have been diagnosed with social anxiety and i am going to be going to a school 10 times as big

as my middle school, and i dont know how i am going to deal with it if i could barely socialize in my old school

in eight grade whenever i sat around people that i wasnt close to, especially guys because i didnt

want to do anything stupid, i would get

sweaty and my face would get all red, my heart would start beating like crazy, i would figit

a lot in my seat, i couldn't focus on what the teacher was saying because all i thought was

i have to get out of here, i would get headaches everyday, i would get really bad stomach aches which gave me uncontrolable gas all the time,

making me feel gross and really uncomfortable, it got worse from there because i wouldn't go to class as much, and i

would stop eating the foods that i thought was causing the stomach aches

then i got tested for a lot of things to see if i was lactose intolerant, which i wasn't, i had a blood test

to see if i had anything against foods with wheat in it, and i havent gotten a note, or heard from the doctors

which means that i probably dont have anything against it, and then i got tested for basic allergies, and i wasnt allergic

to anything,

even though i got tested for those things, whatever i eat gives me bad stomach aches, and gas, and its really embaressing,

and ive tried everything like gas-x and other things, but nothing is working,

everybody else is like suck it up, and i've tried breathing exercises, and trying to focus

my attention on something else, also i socialized a little more this summer when i went on vacation, but most of the time i

didnt talk, and my sisters did with everyone, the only time i felt comfortable around the people was when i was doing some type of

sport because its something i like doing,

and i want pills or something, but my family wont do that for me, so instead im stuck with a therapist, which isnt working

basically i dont want to be this anti-social person anymore,

because i never used to be this way, and i feel like a loser around everyone,

especially my friends who socialize with everyone

i need tips on something that can help me, coming from someone who has had similar things when it comes to anxiety, but i dont know anyone personally that this happens to

Answer 1

View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, (also "how to survive high school, etc.) and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris  Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called "Act as If." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior.

Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit.

Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave.      

      People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn't actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: "A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced." Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me".      

      Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind.

Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger.

Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people.

Try having a cup of "Tension Tamer", herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk.

Go to http://www.mercola.com SEARCHBAR: "nutritional type" and eat in accordance with yours. Consider trying their probiotics. Try just eating fruit, vegetables, and legumes, such as beans, peas, chick peas, and lentils for a couple of weeks, and see how your stomach handles it, then re-introduce one food group at a time, for a couple of weeks, to find which is responsible. Also check out section 13, and headaches in section 14, but these may disappear, with effective treatment for social anxiety.

Answer 2

Go to a pschiatrist, if you have SA, it can be healed with therapy and medication...

Go to a sport center, and do fitness with other people.

Answer 3

How old are you?

I have gone through the EXACT same things (I have had social anxiety as well).  My parents and family used to tell me suck it up as well.  I had a nervous breakdown and fell into severe depression.  I didn't have the support I needed.  I was miserable.  They just really don't understand.  People are social creatures.  We are just that way, so it is veryyy difficult for people who don't have this condition to understand how one cannot be social.  You just have to really be patient with yourself and work on SLOWLY exposing yourself to the things you fear.  Don't give up and continue therapy.  It may not feel like it's working, but its better than just sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself.  Take some action.  This WILL help you in the long run.

Good luck.  ÃƒÂ¢Ã‚™Âª